Friday, June 25, 2010
Days 8,9, 10.
Emptiness still there. "Lost" feeling. There's an aimlessness about me. Not really sure what I should be doing. Stomach still feels weird. I can sit in the same spot forever, but my attention is everywhere. It's like I've suddenly developed ADD. And an inability to think. There's an automatic block in my head and no thought before I speak/write. I just do it automatically. Images in my mind come in pieces now. Covered by darkness or a blanket of static like an old TV with shitty cable. They're not clear. Hallucinations in the dark came back the other night (not last night.) and everything also looked like it was covered in static. My mind is blank. When I'm awake, it feels like I'm dreaming. I'm constantly wondering if the things I'm doing are what I'd normally do and get paranoid that it's not and when the person leaves the room, they're telling the other people how fucked up I am. It feels like there's something missing. (My purpose? I don't know what to do?) Or maybe what's missing is my thoughts. Have you ever read Awake And Dreaming by Kit Pearson? I feel like that. Like I'm fading away almost. Life is a blur.
Day 3:
Jaw still feels weird. Pupils dilated. Feeling a lot more "normal" rather than medicated. Still "Pausing" before doing shit before doing it. Not like the "block" but literally, pausing like I'm confused about what to do. Stomach feels weird. Little desire to eat. Willingness to talk/converse.
Day 2:
People are fucking weird. Like, everyone has their own perception. And I tried to imagine that. Like, WTF. Everyone sees like you. Only different. Reality is definitely skewed. Stairs are fuckin' weird too.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Day One
Mild euphoria at the beginning. Talking a lot. Feeling of skewed reality. Lightheadedness. Psychadelic hallucinations on the ceiling in the dark. "Underwater look". Party zebra. Fan blurs/looks like it's soaking into the sceiling. Odd thought pattern. Hallucinations looking at paper in the dark, looks like it's covered in my doodles. (So far) hallucinaitions are only in the dark.Oh, + I <3 Angels + Airwaves. Diated pupils. Insomnia? Feeling really warm. Pausing/staring into space. Closed eye visualss of owls w/ bright eyes in the dark. (The owls. The light is on atm.) Turn into cats upon swaying.
Monday, May 31, 2010
~Falling Star.*
And maybe it's too late to say
that we should've left it that way
I confess; I can't get you off my mind.
But it's too late, we can't rewind.
We can't rewind this time
These are the nights I wish I could forget you
The city lights blur my eyes
You're so far away from me now,
And I need you so much closer
I need you more than ever now, tonight.
Now maybe it's too late to say
That you might not be over me yet
I confess; you're my escape.
You're my moon and I'm your star.
I shine for you.
Is it too late to rewind?
These are the nights I wish I could forget you.
I'm your star, I shine for you,
But now I'm falling and crashing to the ground
It's too late to rewind
These are the nights I wish I could forget you.
that we should've left it that way
I confess; I can't get you off my mind.
But it's too late, we can't rewind.
We can't rewind this time
These are the nights I wish I could forget you
The city lights blur my eyes
You're so far away from me now,
And I need you so much closer
I need you more than ever now, tonight.
Now maybe it's too late to say
That you might not be over me yet
I confess; you're my escape.
You're my moon and I'm your star.
I shine for you.
Is it too late to rewind?
These are the nights I wish I could forget you.
I'm your star, I shine for you,
But now I'm falling and crashing to the ground
It's too late to rewind
These are the nights I wish I could forget you.
All We've Got (One Last Night.)
Let's chase our dreams down the streets
Try to remember the last time we felt this free
Let's capture this one last memory;
Picture perfect smiles in our eyes.
This is our one last chance to prove we can do this.
We're in this together.
Come on, take my hand;
This night is all we've got.
We'll write our names in the sand.
It's all we've got left;
We'll jump off this ledge together.
Let's run into the horizon
We'll dance in the city lights
Let's get lost together
We'll make all our dreams come true
A vivid image; clear in our minds
This is our last night.
We're in this together
Just you and me
We'll get lost in the city lights,
This is our last night,
Let's make it one to remember
Try to remember the last time we felt this free
Let's capture this one last memory;
Picture perfect smiles in our eyes.
This is our one last chance to prove we can do this.
We're in this together.
Come on, take my hand;
This night is all we've got.
We'll write our names in the sand.
It's all we've got left;
We'll jump off this ledge together.
Let's run into the horizon
We'll dance in the city lights
Let's get lost together
We'll make all our dreams come true
A vivid image; clear in our minds
This is our last night.
We're in this together
Just you and me
We'll get lost in the city lights,
This is our last night,
Let's make it one to remember
I Was Your Everything, But Only Nothing Lasts Forever.
-> Turn away again for the last time
Walk away, see if I care.
You know this isn't the last you'll see of me.
We've grown so far apart that we forgot what brought us together in the first place.
-> You know you're never gonna get me out of your head
You're never gonna forget get get.
-> Sometimes I feel so much closer to you,
the farther away you are from me.
Just so you know, you'll always have me,
Even when you feel like you're alone.
Even when you feel like you've got no one else.
-> Look back for the last time,
Dear you, I see you looking at our memories.
You're scared, but so am I. You think this will be the last you see of me.
What keeps pulling us back?
What's pulling us back if we can't remember?
(br, ch.)
Turn away for the last time.
We've been here so many times,
But we lost it all and we can't get it back.
Walk away, see if I care.
You know this isn't the last you'll see of me.
We've grown so far apart that we forgot what brought us together in the first place.
-> You know you're never gonna get me out of your head
You're never gonna forget get get.
-> Sometimes I feel so much closer to you,
the farther away you are from me.
Just so you know, you'll always have me,
Even when you feel like you're alone.
Even when you feel like you've got no one else.
-> Look back for the last time,
Dear you, I see you looking at our memories.
You're scared, but so am I. You think this will be the last you see of me.
What keeps pulling us back?
What's pulling us back if we can't remember?
(br, ch.)
Turn away for the last time.
We've been here so many times,
But we lost it all and we can't get it back.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
1.1
Selena yawned and opened her eyes, then she reached over to the other side of the pillow and pressed a button on her phone. The screen lit up, saying 12:45. She scowled. Slept in. AGAIN. Her head thudded back on the pillow, and she sighed.
"Uuuughhh. It's so LATE." Then she sat up abruptly, and took a swig from the 3 day old energy drink on the table, otherwise she'd NEVER get up. She reached over to her open laptop, fumbling for her iPod that she'd left on the keyboard before she'd fallen asleep. She set it down on the pillow. Then she grabbed the iPod cord and plugged it in. She sighed again, getting up and sitting in the spinny chair, logging on to the internet. Nope, no new messages. Well, just from (Sensinilla?). Who was baked as shit. Again. She groaned, answering them, and half laughing at her friend's antics. She heard something fall, and looked over to see the iPod wasn't on the table again. She shrugged. "Whatever..." Five minutes later, the music stopped. A scowl formed on her face. "What the fuck?" So then, she grabbed the cord forcefully, and hoisted up the iPod on the other end. Why was it dripping? And why did it smell like VODKA? Oh lord. Oh, fuck. Sometimes being an alcoholic sucks. Especially when you leave your half finished drinks UNDER YOUR BED FOR YOUR BABY TO FALL INTO. "WHAT THE FUCK?" She shreiked, a flurry of even more curse words tumbling out of her mouth. "I hope it still works, I can't live with out it, seriously. What the fuck, WHYYY???"
"Uuuughhh. It's so LATE." Then she sat up abruptly, and took a swig from the 3 day old energy drink on the table, otherwise she'd NEVER get up. She reached over to her open laptop, fumbling for her iPod that she'd left on the keyboard before she'd fallen asleep. She set it down on the pillow. Then she grabbed the iPod cord and plugged it in. She sighed again, getting up and sitting in the spinny chair, logging on to the internet. Nope, no new messages. Well, just from (Sensinilla?). Who was baked as shit. Again. She groaned, answering them, and half laughing at her friend's antics. She heard something fall, and looked over to see the iPod wasn't on the table again. She shrugged. "Whatever..." Five minutes later, the music stopped. A scowl formed on her face. "What the fuck?" So then, she grabbed the cord forcefully, and hoisted up the iPod on the other end. Why was it dripping? And why did it smell like VODKA? Oh lord. Oh, fuck. Sometimes being an alcoholic sucks. Especially when you leave your half finished drinks UNDER YOUR BED FOR YOUR BABY TO FALL INTO. "WHAT THE FUCK?" She shreiked, a flurry of even more curse words tumbling out of her mouth. "I hope it still works, I can't live with out it, seriously. What the fuck, WHYYY???"
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Fire Leaves
Fire Leaves
A day not so long ago, two step-silblings, Emilice and Tony, were playling in a field near their acreage. Tony had found an apple tree and they were eating the apples that had fallen onto the crisp orange leaves. Tony playfully threw one at Emilice.
"Catch!" She ducked, hands shielding her face.
"Hey!" She giggled. Tony smiled his adorable lopsided smile. Emilice blushed and threw the apple back. "No, you catch!" She winked.
"C'mon, Em, we better get back home if we wanna get there in time for dinner." He stood up and walked in the direction of the forest that separated the field and the acreage.
"Wait for me, Tony!" Emilice ran to catch up, not wanting to be left behind. Tony stopped dead in his tracks. So quickly, in fact, that she almost ran into him. "Why'd you stop?" He stood, quiet for a moment, then spoke.
"Look." He pointed to the ground. She looked where his finger was pointed, and saw a yellow, orange, and red leaf.
"Tony...it's a leaf." She said skeptically.
"I know, but..."
Emilice giggled. "C'mon, Jake!" She and Tony ran ahead, leaving teir fourteen year old brother to quicken his pace.
"Watch out for the Fire Leaves. They're a bad omen!" Jake jogged to catch up to his younger siblings. Seeing a Fire Leaf by Tony's foot, his eyes widened in horror. "Tony, move away quickly!" He shoved his four-year-old step brother into the trees, only to see a whole forest full of Fire Leaves. He picked up Emilice, and grabbing Tony's hand, he ran, pushing away the evil branches. "We've got to get out of here as fast as we can!"
"Why, Jake?" His three-year-old sister questioned him innocently.
"I'll tell you later, 'kay, Emmery?" Emilice nodded solemnly, making it hard for Jake not to laugh, but his mind was so set on getting away from the Fire Leaves, he didn't. Tony remained silent, out of breath from trying to keep up with Jake. His small shoes crunched on the molding Fire Leaves. Before he knew it, he was face down ont he ground. He had tripped over a stick.
"Jake!" Tony's teaful scream echoed through the trees. "Jake!" He screamed again, as the feeling in his hands came back. Only on the third scream, did Jake hear Tony. He plunked down Emilice so she was sitting.
"What happened, Tony?" Tony burst into tears. Jake lifted him up from the fallen leaves and held him close.
"I-I fell on a stick...!" Tony showed Jake his hands, which were now covered in blood.
"Oh my God, Tony!" Jake gasped and tried to clean Tony's hands. It didn't work, however, because his hands were so badly scratched. He picked up Tony and motioned for Emilice to follow. Suddenly, not seeing a large hole in the ground, Jake tripped. Dropping Tony, he fell into the bottomless pit.
"No, Jake!" Emilice's screams could be heard for miles.
"All I can say is, watcvh out for those leaves. They're a bad omen..." A single tear made it's way down Emilice's cheek.
"Jake..." Tony turned around, wrapping his armaround her.
"Yeah..." He said. He too, still remembered that evening vividly. They made thier way through the trees.
"Help!" Emilice looked at Tony.
"Did you hear that?" He nodded. If it weren't for Emilice, he would've suffered the same fate as Jake. "Tony!" She grabbed his hand before he could, though.
"No, Jake!"
"Oh my God, Tony!" A gust of wind blew through the trees, causinbg them to shudder. Leaves and whispers swirled up into the air, whirling in a careless tornado around them.
"Watch out for the Fire Leaves, they're a bad omen...!"
Emilice woke up, unsure of where she was.
"Tony...?" No answer. "Tony, where are you?" She blinked, everything coming into focus. She got up abruptly, realizing she was on a beach. "Tony!" She spotted him lying on the sand, a few feet away.
"Huh?" Tony's voice, groggy with confusion, spoke.
"Where's Jake?" Emilice asked.
"Jake?" Tony frowned. "Who's Jake?"
"Y'know, our brother?" She suggested. He thought for a second.
"We don't have a brother, Em." Suddenly, she spotted a glint of gold in the sand nearby. Carefully, she picked it up.
"My locket!" She opened it, and a few grains of sand fell out. On one side of the locket, there was a picture of Tony, on the other side, one of Jake. "Do so!"
"Let me see!" He grabbed it out of her hands.
"No, hey! You're gonna break it, Tony!" She hastily ripped the locket out of his grasp, causing the chain to break. "No! Tony, look what you made me do!" She cried, and clutched it to her heart. "Tony, how could you!" She collapsed on the ground in tears. Tony watched her, eyes glazed in an unblinking stare.
"Sorry..." He mumbled, and stood up. "But why are we on the beach?" He wondered aloud. Emilice remained in the hot sand, crying over the broken locket. All was silent. No noise could be heard, except the crashing of the waves and the sobbing of Emilice, which gradually became less frequent. Tony, leaving Emilice behind, went wandering to clear his mind.
"No, Jake!" Emilice's screams could be heard for miles. Tony sat, awestruck. Emilice's screaming turned into sobs as she collapsed on the forest floor.
"Don't cry, Emilice." Tony said quietly."I want to go home." Emilice nodded and walked on, stumbling over the fallen branches. Tony followed her, grabbing her hand and holding it close to his heart. "I love you, Emilice." He said, and handed her a small heartshaped locket. "Jake told me to give this to you." Emilice looked at the shiny necklace that Tony had placed in her small hand. Her face lit up as she smiled in delight, despite the fact that tears littered her face.
"Oh, thank you, Tony!"
"Oh my God, Jake did exist! But where is he now? Where is the hole? Where am I?" He frantically looked around for a sign, or sokmething familiar. "Emilice!" He screamed in agony, not sure which way to go, or where he had left his younger sister. Getting no answer back, he yelled her name again. "Aw, she's probably still mad at me for breaking her locket..." He concluded. He didn't know how wrong he was.
"Tony!?" Emilice, not realizing that she was in the forest again, ran into a tree, knocking herself out. The locket was still in the palm of her open hand.
Tony meandered along the edge of the beach, where the water and the sand met, wondering why it was so quiet.
"Hi!" He jumped and turned around, startled.
"What the heck!?"
"What'cha doin' out here all by yourself?" It was a girl. She had long, golden-brown hair and eyes as brown as chocolate.
"I'm uh, lost...and...I can't find my girlfriend- I mean sister!" He stammedred and felt his face turn red.
"I'll help you...by the way, I'm Sydney." She giggled.
"I'm Tony."
"C'mon," She prompted, grabbing his hand and running beyond the sand.
"Okay, well..." Tony started.
"...What's that?" Sydney pointed to a leaf that had just appeared out of nowherei n the sand.
"Oh, damn." Tony cursed.
"What?"
"Fire leaf..." A cold gust of wind blew and swirled up around them.
"Where are we now?" Sydney asked him. Tony looked around, taking in the setting.
"Waldorf, c'mon!"
"Waldorf..." She snickered. Tony jogged ahead, then stopped. "
"Oh my God, Emilice!"
"What is it?" Sydney asked, worried.
"My sister..." She looked over his shoulder. Seeing Emilice on the ground, she gasped. Tony knelt down on the ground beside Emilice. "Emilice, baby, wake up." He shook her. Still no answer.
"What's that?" Sydney asked, pointing to Emilice's locket.
"Oh, it's just her necklace. C'mon, we've got to get help as soon as possible!" Tony attempted to pick her up. It was no use. He couldn't. She was just too heavy.
"Do you want me to go find help?" Sydney asked.
"Naw, I will. I know my way around better than you do...but whatever you do, don't wander off, and DON'T take the locket!" Tony hurried off into the trees. Sydney nodded and leaned against a tree beside Emilice. She carefully took the locket out of her limp hand.
Emilice clutched the golden locket to her heart.
"I'm going to get mommy to put it on for me!" She declared and Tony smiled.
"Kids!?"
"Mommy!" Exclaimed Emilice excitedly.
"Emmi? Tony?" Their mom shrieked. "Where's Jake?" Emilice started crying. Tony looked at his feet. "Where is Jake?" She asked again. The preschoolers begane to talk at once, in a muddle, making it hard for her to understand. Tthe only words she got out of the two small children wer Jake, fell, hole, and leaf. "Whoa, calm down, you two" She thought for a moment. "Is Jake hurt?" Emilice nodded. "Okay, where is he?" Mrs. Lovato was getting frantic now.
"Um, in a hole." Mrs. Lovato looked at Tony, as if she wanted an explanation for her three-year-old daughter's statement.
"A big one, too!" Then she noticed something else.
"Tony, what happened to your hands?"
"I fell." He said, simply.
"You fell?"
"Yes."
"Let me see." Tony held out his hands to his step mom. She winced. "That must have hurt." She picked him up and walked towards their house. "Come along, Emilice."
"Mommy, can you put on my locket?" Emilice inquired.
"You don't have a locket, sweetie."
"Yes I do!"
"No," Mrs. Lovato argued.
"See?" Mrs.s Lovato turned and looked at the gold necklace that her daughter held out her her.
"Where did you get that?" She snapped.
"Jake gave it to Tony, and Tony gave it to me...can you put it on?"
"Oh, why not..." She gently put the necklace arpind Emilice's small neck, fastening the tiny gold clasp.
"Thank you, mommy. Don't I look pretty?" She beamed.
"Pretty as a princess." Emilice asked Tony, next.
"Don't I look pretty with my necklace on, Tony?" Tony nodded, blushing. Emilice's smile became luminescent. "Thank you, Tony."
"Wow, a magic locket!" Sydney whispered, mystefied. Meanwhile, Tony had just arrived at his house. He pulled on the door handle. It didn't open.
"What the heck!?" He wondered why it wouldn't open, for it was usually unlocked. "Mom?" He called. "Mom?" Getting no answer (as usual0, he walked over to the backdoor of the house. Opening the door, he finally got inside. "Hey, is anyone home?" He looked around. There were dirty dishes by the sink, a sweater thrown carelessly on the cough, and the cat, asleep on top of the sweater-er, awake. He had awakened when Tony had unlocked the door. "Hey, Billy." He patted the lanky black cat's head. He had named it after Jake's best friend, Billy, who had still kept in touch. Tony got a Coke from the refridgerator, opening the can and watching it fizz. He collapsed on the couch beside Billy.
"Meow." Tony glanced at the cat again.
"'Sup,cat?" Billy got up and faced the door.
"Meow." It's back arched. Tony faced the door as well. He shuddered, because the room had suddenly grew colder. A Fire Leaf appeared, floating carelessly onto the carpet. Out of it, came a white mist.
"Man, this is messed up!" The mist shape-shifted, and took a human form. "Who's ghost is that!?" Tony squinted and looked closer. "Jake?" The ghost nodded and drifted closer. Billy was going crazy, he wouldn't stop meowing. "Man, Billy, shut up!"
"Meow." He ran timidly under the armchair, so that all Tony could see were his bright blue eyes. But Tony wasn't looking at Billy, however. He was more interested in the ghost of his dead step-brother, Jake Lovato.
"Um, Jake, what do you want? How come you came back?"
"I have been called upon by the golden locket." The ghost spoke.
"What the...what golden locket?"
"The one that I asked you to give Emilice."
"Oh, that locket..." Tony remembered. "Oh my God, Emilice!" He had completely forgotten the reason he had ran home in the first place. "Oh shit, can you help Emilice?" He asked the see-through version of Jake.
"Help Emmery? What happened to her?" The ghost interrogated Tony. Head in his hands, he cried.
"She's unconscious...In the forest...I left her there with Sydney..."
"Sydney!?" Raged Jake, "Why would you do something like that?! Don't ever leave Sydney alone, EVER."
"Why not?" Tony inquired, though he was afraid to.
"She's not trustworthy...she touched the locket." Tony, suddenly angered, threw the Coke across the room, making the rug all fizzy.
"Knew it, I knew it...I specifically told her not to!"
"I cannot help you now, I must go. I advise you to get help..." Tony nodded, as the misty form faded away, then he phoned an ambulance.
Sydney was sitting beside Emilice, humming a Hilary Duff tune to herself, when Tony came running into the forest with the paramedics.
"Give me the locket." He said sternly, hand held out.
"I-I don't have it." Sydney faltered, and tucked it into her shirt.
"Yes you do!!" Tony whined and ripped it off her neck in one swipe.
"Ow!" Sydney exclaimed in pain, and rubbed the back of her neck. She scowled at Tony. "That hurt!" Tony smiled to himself, then realized he had broken it again.
"Aw, damn."
Tony paced around the waiting room at the hospital. Sydney, still mad at Tony for ripping the necklace off her neck, sat arms folded in a chair.
"Emilice Lovato?" The secretary called. Tony stood up and dragged his feet, walking over to the desk, trance-like almost. Sydney followed close behind. "Follow Lorna." She said, though nobody was really listening. They trailed behind Lorna, down the long hall, their skater shoes squeaking on the shiny linoleum. Squeak Squeak. It echoed. Squeak Squeak. They arrived at a door. It was at the hend of the hallway. Room number 101.
"Here you go. She'll be able to leave in an hour." She unlocked the door with a key. Not a shiny one, but an old overused one. Tony nodded, and Sydney followed timidly behind him.
"I hate hospitals!" She complained.
"So do I, but you do want Em to be okay, don't you?"
"Yeah..." She said, half-heartedly.
"You better, or I swear, I'll kill you." He growled.
"No, please don't...I want to live!" Tony rolled his eyes at her.
"No, trust me, you don't. Life sucks."
"It does?" She asked, cluelessly.
"Stop being such a blonde, you know it does!"
"I can't help it if I have blonde hair!"
"So do I, but I don't space out... not like you." Sydney glared.
"So what? I don't care." They stopped beside the bed. Emilice layed their, her blonde hair sparkling in the too-bright light above her. Tony smiled his lopsided smile again.
"Hey Em, baby, wake up." She stirred. "Oh God, please, baby, wake up." Her eyes fluttered open.
"Huh? Oh my God, Tony!" She sat up rapidly, but fell back, hair fanning out onto the off-white pillow. "...Dizzy..." A look of concern crossed Tony's face.
"What happened anyways?" Emilice remained silent. "Em?"
"You took my locket!" She burst out.
"No, you broke it while taking it away from me, then Sydney here, took it." Tony explained.
"Can I have it back, then?"
"Mhm." Tony nodded, and pulled it out from his pocket. "Here." He held out his hand. The scratched up gold sparkled in the super-bright lights.
"So, can we get out of here now?" Sydney cut in rudely.
"Why are you still here?" Tony asked, regretting bringing her along in the first place.
"Because I am, stupid!" She retorted.
"Hah, Yeah, you are stupid!" Tony mocked her statement.
"That's not what I meant!" She cried.
"I know, but you are..." She frowned.
"Am not..."
"Can you guys not, like, argue?" Emilice asked quietly, obviously annoyed with their bickering. Tony nodded.
"Yeah, sure, anything for you, baby." Emilice blushed.
"Thanks."
"Eew, that's SO gross. You guys like eachother!" Sydney exclaimed in disgust.
"We're not even related, stupid." Tony stated. Emilice rolled her eyes.
"Don't start this again..." She sighed. "Yeah, he's my STEP brother."
"Okay..." Sydney didn't look like she believed them.
"Uh, guys?" Emilice said. "How are we going to get home/"
"I'll call Billy. He can drive us home."
"And Sydney?"
"Uh...might as well get rid of her." Emilice giggled.
"Hey!" Sydney protested. Suddenly, the temperature dropped. The curtains flapped in the wind, which got stronger. The thin blanket flew off Emilice's bed, and on top of Sydney, who screamed.
"Em!" Tony sat on top of the bed and covered Emilice with his arms, protecting her from harm. A Fire Leaf appeared out of nowhere and fluttered onto the blanket coverinh Sydney- they gazed at it with hate.
"Did you hear that?" Tony nodded . If it weren't for Emilice, he would suffered the same fate as Jake. "Tony!" She grabbed his arm before he could, though. "Watch where you're going! I don't want both of my brothers dead!"
"Sorry..." Tony apologized and hung his head. They walked through the forest, dodging outstretched branches and fallen logs until they arrived at their acreage.
"Mom, we're home!" They yelled in unison.
"Hey, Emmi, Tony. I just had the oddest dream..."
A day not so long ago, two step-silblings, Emilice and Tony, were playling in a field near their acreage. Tony had found an apple tree and they were eating the apples that had fallen onto the crisp orange leaves. Tony playfully threw one at Emilice.
"Catch!" She ducked, hands shielding her face.
"Hey!" She giggled. Tony smiled his adorable lopsided smile. Emilice blushed and threw the apple back. "No, you catch!" She winked.
"C'mon, Em, we better get back home if we wanna get there in time for dinner." He stood up and walked in the direction of the forest that separated the field and the acreage.
"Wait for me, Tony!" Emilice ran to catch up, not wanting to be left behind. Tony stopped dead in his tracks. So quickly, in fact, that she almost ran into him. "Why'd you stop?" He stood, quiet for a moment, then spoke.
"Look." He pointed to the ground. She looked where his finger was pointed, and saw a yellow, orange, and red leaf.
"Tony...it's a leaf." She said skeptically.
"I know, but..."
Emilice giggled. "C'mon, Jake!" She and Tony ran ahead, leaving teir fourteen year old brother to quicken his pace.
"Watch out for the Fire Leaves. They're a bad omen!" Jake jogged to catch up to his younger siblings. Seeing a Fire Leaf by Tony's foot, his eyes widened in horror. "Tony, move away quickly!" He shoved his four-year-old step brother into the trees, only to see a whole forest full of Fire Leaves. He picked up Emilice, and grabbing Tony's hand, he ran, pushing away the evil branches. "We've got to get out of here as fast as we can!"
"Why, Jake?" His three-year-old sister questioned him innocently.
"I'll tell you later, 'kay, Emmery?" Emilice nodded solemnly, making it hard for Jake not to laugh, but his mind was so set on getting away from the Fire Leaves, he didn't. Tony remained silent, out of breath from trying to keep up with Jake. His small shoes crunched on the molding Fire Leaves. Before he knew it, he was face down ont he ground. He had tripped over a stick.
"Jake!" Tony's teaful scream echoed through the trees. "Jake!" He screamed again, as the feeling in his hands came back. Only on the third scream, did Jake hear Tony. He plunked down Emilice so she was sitting.
"What happened, Tony?" Tony burst into tears. Jake lifted him up from the fallen leaves and held him close.
"I-I fell on a stick...!" Tony showed Jake his hands, which were now covered in blood.
"Oh my God, Tony!" Jake gasped and tried to clean Tony's hands. It didn't work, however, because his hands were so badly scratched. He picked up Tony and motioned for Emilice to follow. Suddenly, not seeing a large hole in the ground, Jake tripped. Dropping Tony, he fell into the bottomless pit.
"No, Jake!" Emilice's screams could be heard for miles.
"All I can say is, watcvh out for those leaves. They're a bad omen..." A single tear made it's way down Emilice's cheek.
"Jake..." Tony turned around, wrapping his armaround her.
"Yeah..." He said. He too, still remembered that evening vividly. They made thier way through the trees.
"Help!" Emilice looked at Tony.
"Did you hear that?" He nodded. If it weren't for Emilice, he would've suffered the same fate as Jake. "Tony!" She grabbed his hand before he could, though.
"No, Jake!"
"Oh my God, Tony!" A gust of wind blew through the trees, causinbg them to shudder. Leaves and whispers swirled up into the air, whirling in a careless tornado around them.
"Watch out for the Fire Leaves, they're a bad omen...!"
Emilice woke up, unsure of where she was.
"Tony...?" No answer. "Tony, where are you?" She blinked, everything coming into focus. She got up abruptly, realizing she was on a beach. "Tony!" She spotted him lying on the sand, a few feet away.
"Huh?" Tony's voice, groggy with confusion, spoke.
"Where's Jake?" Emilice asked.
"Jake?" Tony frowned. "Who's Jake?"
"Y'know, our brother?" She suggested. He thought for a second.
"We don't have a brother, Em." Suddenly, she spotted a glint of gold in the sand nearby. Carefully, she picked it up.
"My locket!" She opened it, and a few grains of sand fell out. On one side of the locket, there was a picture of Tony, on the other side, one of Jake. "Do so!"
"Let me see!" He grabbed it out of her hands.
"No, hey! You're gonna break it, Tony!" She hastily ripped the locket out of his grasp, causing the chain to break. "No! Tony, look what you made me do!" She cried, and clutched it to her heart. "Tony, how could you!" She collapsed on the ground in tears. Tony watched her, eyes glazed in an unblinking stare.
"Sorry..." He mumbled, and stood up. "But why are we on the beach?" He wondered aloud. Emilice remained in the hot sand, crying over the broken locket. All was silent. No noise could be heard, except the crashing of the waves and the sobbing of Emilice, which gradually became less frequent. Tony, leaving Emilice behind, went wandering to clear his mind.
"No, Jake!" Emilice's screams could be heard for miles. Tony sat, awestruck. Emilice's screaming turned into sobs as she collapsed on the forest floor.
"Don't cry, Emilice." Tony said quietly."I want to go home." Emilice nodded and walked on, stumbling over the fallen branches. Tony followed her, grabbing her hand and holding it close to his heart. "I love you, Emilice." He said, and handed her a small heartshaped locket. "Jake told me to give this to you." Emilice looked at the shiny necklace that Tony had placed in her small hand. Her face lit up as she smiled in delight, despite the fact that tears littered her face.
"Oh, thank you, Tony!"
"Oh my God, Jake did exist! But where is he now? Where is the hole? Where am I?" He frantically looked around for a sign, or sokmething familiar. "Emilice!" He screamed in agony, not sure which way to go, or where he had left his younger sister. Getting no answer back, he yelled her name again. "Aw, she's probably still mad at me for breaking her locket..." He concluded. He didn't know how wrong he was.
"Tony!?" Emilice, not realizing that she was in the forest again, ran into a tree, knocking herself out. The locket was still in the palm of her open hand.
Tony meandered along the edge of the beach, where the water and the sand met, wondering why it was so quiet.
"Hi!" He jumped and turned around, startled.
"What the heck!?"
"What'cha doin' out here all by yourself?" It was a girl. She had long, golden-brown hair and eyes as brown as chocolate.
"I'm uh, lost...and...I can't find my girlfriend- I mean sister!" He stammedred and felt his face turn red.
"I'll help you...by the way, I'm Sydney." She giggled.
"I'm Tony."
"C'mon," She prompted, grabbing his hand and running beyond the sand.
"Okay, well..." Tony started.
"...What's that?" Sydney pointed to a leaf that had just appeared out of nowherei n the sand.
"Oh, damn." Tony cursed.
"What?"
"Fire leaf..." A cold gust of wind blew and swirled up around them.
"Where are we now?" Sydney asked him. Tony looked around, taking in the setting.
"Waldorf, c'mon!"
"Waldorf..." She snickered. Tony jogged ahead, then stopped. "
"Oh my God, Emilice!"
"What is it?" Sydney asked, worried.
"My sister..." She looked over his shoulder. Seeing Emilice on the ground, she gasped. Tony knelt down on the ground beside Emilice. "Emilice, baby, wake up." He shook her. Still no answer.
"What's that?" Sydney asked, pointing to Emilice's locket.
"Oh, it's just her necklace. C'mon, we've got to get help as soon as possible!" Tony attempted to pick her up. It was no use. He couldn't. She was just too heavy.
"Do you want me to go find help?" Sydney asked.
"Naw, I will. I know my way around better than you do...but whatever you do, don't wander off, and DON'T take the locket!" Tony hurried off into the trees. Sydney nodded and leaned against a tree beside Emilice. She carefully took the locket out of her limp hand.
Emilice clutched the golden locket to her heart.
"I'm going to get mommy to put it on for me!" She declared and Tony smiled.
"Kids!?"
"Mommy!" Exclaimed Emilice excitedly.
"Emmi? Tony?" Their mom shrieked. "Where's Jake?" Emilice started crying. Tony looked at his feet. "Where is Jake?" She asked again. The preschoolers begane to talk at once, in a muddle, making it hard for her to understand. Tthe only words she got out of the two small children wer Jake, fell, hole, and leaf. "Whoa, calm down, you two" She thought for a moment. "Is Jake hurt?" Emilice nodded. "Okay, where is he?" Mrs. Lovato was getting frantic now.
"Um, in a hole." Mrs. Lovato looked at Tony, as if she wanted an explanation for her three-year-old daughter's statement.
"A big one, too!" Then she noticed something else.
"Tony, what happened to your hands?"
"I fell." He said, simply.
"You fell?"
"Yes."
"Let me see." Tony held out his hands to his step mom. She winced. "That must have hurt." She picked him up and walked towards their house. "Come along, Emilice."
"Mommy, can you put on my locket?" Emilice inquired.
"You don't have a locket, sweetie."
"Yes I do!"
"No," Mrs. Lovato argued.
"See?" Mrs.s Lovato turned and looked at the gold necklace that her daughter held out her her.
"Where did you get that?" She snapped.
"Jake gave it to Tony, and Tony gave it to me...can you put it on?"
"Oh, why not..." She gently put the necklace arpind Emilice's small neck, fastening the tiny gold clasp.
"Thank you, mommy. Don't I look pretty?" She beamed.
"Pretty as a princess." Emilice asked Tony, next.
"Don't I look pretty with my necklace on, Tony?" Tony nodded, blushing. Emilice's smile became luminescent. "Thank you, Tony."
"Wow, a magic locket!" Sydney whispered, mystefied. Meanwhile, Tony had just arrived at his house. He pulled on the door handle. It didn't open.
"What the heck!?" He wondered why it wouldn't open, for it was usually unlocked. "Mom?" He called. "Mom?" Getting no answer (as usual0, he walked over to the backdoor of the house. Opening the door, he finally got inside. "Hey, is anyone home?" He looked around. There were dirty dishes by the sink, a sweater thrown carelessly on the cough, and the cat, asleep on top of the sweater-er, awake. He had awakened when Tony had unlocked the door. "Hey, Billy." He patted the lanky black cat's head. He had named it after Jake's best friend, Billy, who had still kept in touch. Tony got a Coke from the refridgerator, opening the can and watching it fizz. He collapsed on the couch beside Billy.
"Meow." Tony glanced at the cat again.
"'Sup,cat?" Billy got up and faced the door.
"Meow." It's back arched. Tony faced the door as well. He shuddered, because the room had suddenly grew colder. A Fire Leaf appeared, floating carelessly onto the carpet. Out of it, came a white mist.
"Man, this is messed up!" The mist shape-shifted, and took a human form. "Who's ghost is that!?" Tony squinted and looked closer. "Jake?" The ghost nodded and drifted closer. Billy was going crazy, he wouldn't stop meowing. "Man, Billy, shut up!"
"Meow." He ran timidly under the armchair, so that all Tony could see were his bright blue eyes. But Tony wasn't looking at Billy, however. He was more interested in the ghost of his dead step-brother, Jake Lovato.
"Um, Jake, what do you want? How come you came back?"
"I have been called upon by the golden locket." The ghost spoke.
"What the...what golden locket?"
"The one that I asked you to give Emilice."
"Oh, that locket..." Tony remembered. "Oh my God, Emilice!" He had completely forgotten the reason he had ran home in the first place. "Oh shit, can you help Emilice?" He asked the see-through version of Jake.
"Help Emmery? What happened to her?" The ghost interrogated Tony. Head in his hands, he cried.
"She's unconscious...In the forest...I left her there with Sydney..."
"Sydney!?" Raged Jake, "Why would you do something like that?! Don't ever leave Sydney alone, EVER."
"Why not?" Tony inquired, though he was afraid to.
"She's not trustworthy...she touched the locket." Tony, suddenly angered, threw the Coke across the room, making the rug all fizzy.
"Knew it, I knew it...I specifically told her not to!"
"I cannot help you now, I must go. I advise you to get help..." Tony nodded, as the misty form faded away, then he phoned an ambulance.
Sydney was sitting beside Emilice, humming a Hilary Duff tune to herself, when Tony came running into the forest with the paramedics.
"Give me the locket." He said sternly, hand held out.
"I-I don't have it." Sydney faltered, and tucked it into her shirt.
"Yes you do!!" Tony whined and ripped it off her neck in one swipe.
"Ow!" Sydney exclaimed in pain, and rubbed the back of her neck. She scowled at Tony. "That hurt!" Tony smiled to himself, then realized he had broken it again.
"Aw, damn."
Tony paced around the waiting room at the hospital. Sydney, still mad at Tony for ripping the necklace off her neck, sat arms folded in a chair.
"Emilice Lovato?" The secretary called. Tony stood up and dragged his feet, walking over to the desk, trance-like almost. Sydney followed close behind. "Follow Lorna." She said, though nobody was really listening. They trailed behind Lorna, down the long hall, their skater shoes squeaking on the shiny linoleum. Squeak Squeak. It echoed. Squeak Squeak. They arrived at a door. It was at the hend of the hallway. Room number 101.
"Here you go. She'll be able to leave in an hour." She unlocked the door with a key. Not a shiny one, but an old overused one. Tony nodded, and Sydney followed timidly behind him.
"I hate hospitals!" She complained.
"So do I, but you do want Em to be okay, don't you?"
"Yeah..." She said, half-heartedly.
"You better, or I swear, I'll kill you." He growled.
"No, please don't...I want to live!" Tony rolled his eyes at her.
"No, trust me, you don't. Life sucks."
"It does?" She asked, cluelessly.
"Stop being such a blonde, you know it does!"
"I can't help it if I have blonde hair!"
"So do I, but I don't space out... not like you." Sydney glared.
"So what? I don't care." They stopped beside the bed. Emilice layed their, her blonde hair sparkling in the too-bright light above her. Tony smiled his lopsided smile again.
"Hey Em, baby, wake up." She stirred. "Oh God, please, baby, wake up." Her eyes fluttered open.
"Huh? Oh my God, Tony!" She sat up rapidly, but fell back, hair fanning out onto the off-white pillow. "...Dizzy..." A look of concern crossed Tony's face.
"What happened anyways?" Emilice remained silent. "Em?"
"You took my locket!" She burst out.
"No, you broke it while taking it away from me, then Sydney here, took it." Tony explained.
"Can I have it back, then?"
"Mhm." Tony nodded, and pulled it out from his pocket. "Here." He held out his hand. The scratched up gold sparkled in the super-bright lights.
"So, can we get out of here now?" Sydney cut in rudely.
"Why are you still here?" Tony asked, regretting bringing her along in the first place.
"Because I am, stupid!" She retorted.
"Hah, Yeah, you are stupid!" Tony mocked her statement.
"That's not what I meant!" She cried.
"I know, but you are..." She frowned.
"Am not..."
"Can you guys not, like, argue?" Emilice asked quietly, obviously annoyed with their bickering. Tony nodded.
"Yeah, sure, anything for you, baby." Emilice blushed.
"Thanks."
"Eew, that's SO gross. You guys like eachother!" Sydney exclaimed in disgust.
"We're not even related, stupid." Tony stated. Emilice rolled her eyes.
"Don't start this again..." She sighed. "Yeah, he's my STEP brother."
"Okay..." Sydney didn't look like she believed them.
"Uh, guys?" Emilice said. "How are we going to get home/"
"I'll call Billy. He can drive us home."
"And Sydney?"
"Uh...might as well get rid of her." Emilice giggled.
"Hey!" Sydney protested. Suddenly, the temperature dropped. The curtains flapped in the wind, which got stronger. The thin blanket flew off Emilice's bed, and on top of Sydney, who screamed.
"Em!" Tony sat on top of the bed and covered Emilice with his arms, protecting her from harm. A Fire Leaf appeared out of nowhere and fluttered onto the blanket coverinh Sydney- they gazed at it with hate.
"Did you hear that?" Tony nodded . If it weren't for Emilice, he would suffered the same fate as Jake. "Tony!" She grabbed his arm before he could, though. "Watch where you're going! I don't want both of my brothers dead!"
"Sorry..." Tony apologized and hung his head. They walked through the forest, dodging outstretched branches and fallen logs until they arrived at their acreage.
"Mom, we're home!" They yelled in unison.
"Hey, Emmi, Tony. I just had the oddest dream..."
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Occasional Becomes Addiction
God,I miss it.
And I would do it again if given the chance.
So, do it again.
Give into your cravings. You'll thank yourself.
When your reality is once again left behind.
When your reality is left behind.
You can't stop yourself.
Occasional becomes addiction.
One taste is all it takes.
Just one taste gets rid of all your mistakes.
And you're addicted.
"It makes me feel good." She said.
"It makes me feel better."
But what is it that's making her feel bad to begin with?
This isn't the answer...
But she's addicted. She can't stop. I can't stop.
Can't deal with reality.
Just one more fix and you'll be fine.
You can't stop yourself.
Occasional becomes addiction.
One taste is all it takes.
Just one taste gets rid of all your mistakes.
And you're addicted.
Give into your cravings, you'll thank yourself.
When your reality is once again left behind.
Just one more fix and you'll be fine.
You'll be fine.
Just one taste gets rid of all your mistakes.
That's all it takes.
For occasional to become addiction.
And I would do it again if given the chance.
So, do it again.
Give into your cravings. You'll thank yourself.
When your reality is once again left behind.
When your reality is left behind.
You can't stop yourself.
Occasional becomes addiction.
One taste is all it takes.
Just one taste gets rid of all your mistakes.
And you're addicted.
"It makes me feel good." She said.
"It makes me feel better."
But what is it that's making her feel bad to begin with?
This isn't the answer...
But she's addicted. She can't stop. I can't stop.
Can't deal with reality.
Just one more fix and you'll be fine.
You can't stop yourself.
Occasional becomes addiction.
One taste is all it takes.
Just one taste gets rid of all your mistakes.
And you're addicted.
Give into your cravings, you'll thank yourself.
When your reality is once again left behind.
Just one more fix and you'll be fine.
You'll be fine.
Just one taste gets rid of all your mistakes.
That's all it takes.
For occasional to become addiction.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Erase This Old Love Song From My Heart
The hardest part of this is letting go
We've had so many memories, I just can't forget,
I still feel your arms around me, and the taste of your lips
But I know I have to erase you from my mind
Before I can move on for good
It started out as a love song, but then it went all wrong
You stopped calling, and I forgot the words
I was supposed to be singign along
It started out as a love song, but now it's just
A miserable memory.
I don't know if there's anything I can do-
I just can't shake your words from my ears,
And I don't know how to feel anymore.
I still look into your eyes when I close mine,
And it seems like there's only one way to make
You go away.
I think I have to hate you to erase you from my heart.
It started out as a love song, but then it went all wrong
You stopped calling, and I forgot the words
I was supposed to be singign along
It started out as a love song, but now it's just
A miserable memory.
I know that if I love you still I can't move on
And maybe if I dream of you one more time,
It will haunt me, and I'll lie awake in bed.
Thinking of your arms around me,
But it's all a broken memory and
I'll be so miserable without you, I'll grow to hate you.
It started out as a love song, but then it went all wrong
You stopped calling, and I forgot the words
I was supposed to be singign along
It started out as a love song, but now it's just
A miserable memory.
Maybe if I sing this old love song out of key,
I'll erase this painful memory
We've had so many memories, I just can't forget,
I still feel your arms around me, and the taste of your lips
But I know I have to erase you from my mind
Before I can move on for good
It started out as a love song, but then it went all wrong
You stopped calling, and I forgot the words
I was supposed to be singign along
It started out as a love song, but now it's just
A miserable memory.
I don't know if there's anything I can do-
I just can't shake your words from my ears,
And I don't know how to feel anymore.
I still look into your eyes when I close mine,
And it seems like there's only one way to make
You go away.
I think I have to hate you to erase you from my heart.
It started out as a love song, but then it went all wrong
You stopped calling, and I forgot the words
I was supposed to be singign along
It started out as a love song, but now it's just
A miserable memory.
I know that if I love you still I can't move on
And maybe if I dream of you one more time,
It will haunt me, and I'll lie awake in bed.
Thinking of your arms around me,
But it's all a broken memory and
I'll be so miserable without you, I'll grow to hate you.
It started out as a love song, but then it went all wrong
You stopped calling, and I forgot the words
I was supposed to be singign along
It started out as a love song, but now it's just
A miserable memory.
Maybe if I sing this old love song out of key,
I'll erase this painful memory
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Life On Screen
Is there hope for me?
I need to change to see a change.
No more addiction for a brand new day.
Don't give up if it seems too hard.
I'll find my way and I'll find it quick.
I know what i need to do.
Falling down instead of falling up.
Makes me feel dead.
Feels like I'm sinking through the floor,
With mixed up words, my mind's
Not the same, give me a break.
But don't give up on me even
Though I thought that was what I
Wanted. I'm a fucking wreck but
After all this, I know I can be who
I want to be if I try. Help me through this.
Life is just a really long movie;
Make it worth watching.
I need to change to see a change.
No more addiction for a brand new day.
Don't give up if it seems too hard.
I'll find my way and I'll find it quick.
I know what i need to do.
Falling down instead of falling up.
Makes me feel dead.
Feels like I'm sinking through the floor,
With mixed up words, my mind's
Not the same, give me a break.
But don't give up on me even
Though I thought that was what I
Wanted. I'm a fucking wreck but
After all this, I know I can be who
I want to be if I try. Help me through this.
Life is just a really long movie;
Make it worth watching.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Violet Crayola
This is the story of Violet the pencil crayon.
There once was a pencil crayon. It's name was Violet Crayola. It was a nice pencil crayon. All violetty and purpley... But- one day- one TRAGIC day, Violet Crayola was doing its "Let's Go Down To The Disco" dance, when it fell out of the pencil crayon box along with Magenta, Blue and Golden Yellow.
"ZOMG!!" Screamed Violet. "Sugar, we're goin;' down!"
"Chicago is SO 2 yrs ago!" said Magenta.
"we don't LIVE in Chigago" said Blue. Magenta shrugged. "there was CRACK in your CRACKers."
BAM! they landed on the starry manillatag paper.
"ZOMG!" screamed Violet. "We're ON the sky!" And then a Golden Yello start ate her.
"ZOMG! Golden Yellow you KILLED VIOLET!" Shreiked Magenta,.
"No I didn't , go eat a cupcake!"
"Crackface"
"Intercourse face..."
And then they argued about weather Golden Yellow killed Violet Crayola or not.
by Kari
BAMzebra.
There once was a pencil crayon. It's name was Violet Crayola. It was a nice pencil crayon. All violetty and purpley... But- one day- one TRAGIC day, Violet Crayola was doing its "Let's Go Down To The Disco" dance, when it fell out of the pencil crayon box along with Magenta, Blue and Golden Yellow.
"ZOMG!!" Screamed Violet. "Sugar, we're goin;' down!"
"Chicago is SO 2 yrs ago!" said Magenta.
"we don't LIVE in Chigago" said Blue. Magenta shrugged. "there was CRACK in your CRACKers."
BAM! they landed on the starry manillatag paper.
"ZOMG!" screamed Violet. "We're ON the sky!" And then a Golden Yello start ate her.
"ZOMG! Golden Yellow you KILLED VIOLET!" Shreiked Magenta,.
"No I didn't , go eat a cupcake!"
"Crackface"
"Intercourse face..."
And then they argued about weather Golden Yellow killed Violet Crayola or not.
by Kari
BAMzebra.
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