Days 8,9, 10.

Emptiness still there. "Lost" feeling. There's an aimlessness about me. Not really sure what I should be doing. Stomach still feels weird. I can sit in the same spot forever, but my attention is everywhere. It's like I've suddenly developed ADD. And an inability to think. There's an automatic block in my head and no thought before I speak/write. I just do it automatically. Images in my mind come in pieces now. Covered by darkness or a blanket of static like an old TV with shitty cable. They're not clear. Hallucinations in the dark came back the other night (not last night.) and everything also looked like it was covered in static. My mind is blank. When I'm awake, it feels like I'm dreaming. I'm constantly wondering if the things I'm doing are what I'd normally do and get paranoid that it's not and when the person leaves the room, they're telling the other people how fucked up I am. It feels like there's something missing. (My purpose? I don't know what to do?) Or maybe what's missing is my thoughts. Have you ever read Awake And Dreaming by Kit Pearson? I feel like that. Like I'm fading away almost. Life is a blur.

Day 6/7.

Feelinsg of hopelessness. Depression. WTF? Hopefully it gets better.

Day 3:

Jaw still feels weird. Pupils dilated. Feeling a lot more "normal" rather than medicated. Still "Pausing" before doing shit before doing it. Not like the "block" but literally, pausing like I'm confused about what to do. Stomach feels weird. Little desire to eat. Willingness to talk/converse.

Day 2:

People are fucking weird. Like, everyone has their own perception. And I tried to imagine that. Like, WTF. Everyone sees like you. Only different. Reality is definitely skewed. Stairs are fuckin' weird too.

Day One

Mild euphoria at the beginning. Talking a lot. Feeling of skewed reality. Lightheadedness. Psychadelic hallucinations on the ceiling in the dark. "Underwater look". Party zebra. Fan blurs/looks like it's soaking into the sceiling. Odd thought pattern. Hallucinations looking at paper in the dark, looks like it's covered in my doodles. (So far) hallucinaitions are only in the dark.Oh, + I <3 Angels + Airwaves. Diated pupils. Insomnia? Feeling really warm. Pausing/staring into space. Closed eye visualss of owls w/ bright eyes in the dark. (The owls. The light is on atm.) Turn into cats upon swaying.

~Falling Star.*

And maybe it's too late to say
that we should've left it that way
I confess; I can't get you off my mind.
But it's too late, we can't rewind.
We can't rewind this time
These are the nights I wish I could forget you

The city lights blur my eyes
You're so far away from me now,
And I need you so much closer
I need you more than ever now, tonight.

Now maybe it's too late to say
That you might not be over me yet
I confess; you're my escape.
You're my moon and I'm your star.
I shine for you.
Is it too late to rewind?
These are the nights I wish I could forget you.

I'm your star, I shine for you,
But now I'm falling and crashing to the ground
It's too late to rewind
These are the nights I wish I could forget you.

All We've Got (One Last Night.)

Let's chase our dreams down the streets
Try to remember the last time we felt this free
Let's capture this one last memory;
Picture perfect smiles in our eyes.
This is our one last chance to prove we can do this.
We're in this together.

Come on, take my hand;
This night is all we've got.
We'll write our names in the sand.
It's all we've got left;
We'll jump off this ledge together.

Let's run into the horizon
We'll dance in the city lights
Let's get lost together
We'll make all our dreams come true
A vivid image; clear in our minds
This is our last night.

We're in this together
Just you and me
We'll get lost in the city lights,
This is our last night,
Let's make it one to remember