Everything isn't what it seems.
Life is a perception of your own reality.
But reality isn't reality,
When you live inside your dreams.
Divided by thoughts,
You close your eyes,
Tearing pages in notebooks half full...
Fictitious words and crazy thoughts,
And nobody understands you.
It's only real to you.
It's only real to you.
Everything isn't what it seems,
Your own life is just a dream
Something in your head that you can't get rid of.
Disturbing; But it's what you do.
You're living in your head.
Divided by thoughts,
You close your eyes,
Tearing out pages in notebooks half full...
Fictitious words and crazy thoughts,
And nobody understands you.
It's only real to you.
It's only real to you.
Crazy words and fictitious thoughts;
Life is a perception of your own reality;
And nobody understands yours.
And nobody understands you.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Today, Tonight, Tomorrow (Thinking of You.)
Tonight, I lie awake
But I really wish I was lying with you.
I close my eyes and I'm plagued with dreams of you,
But I really don't mind,
'Cause last night I was in your arms.
Tonight, it's no secret I want you,
And you want to be with me too.
Last night, I had you
And you said "I love you."
Tomorrow is another day,
And I'm still dreaming of you; Love sick.
Homesick; I feel at home in your arms,
It's a crazy feeling- But I really don't mind;
That you make me feel the way I do.
Do you feel it too? I know you do.
Tonight, it's no secret I want you,
And you want to be with me too.
Last night, I had you
Tonight, I lie awake;
Dreaming of you.
And you said "I love you."
But I really wish I was lying with you.
I close my eyes and I'm plagued with dreams of you,
But I really don't mind,
'Cause last night I was in your arms.
Tonight, it's no secret I want you,
And you want to be with me too.
Last night, I had you
And you said "I love you."
Tomorrow is another day,
And I'm still dreaming of you; Love sick.
Homesick; I feel at home in your arms,
It's a crazy feeling- But I really don't mind;
That you make me feel the way I do.
Do you feel it too? I know you do.
Tonight, it's no secret I want you,
And you want to be with me too.
Last night, I had you
Tonight, I lie awake;
Dreaming of you.
And you said "I love you."
Think, Breathe, Dream
When you left the room, I looked after you
I had to look away- I didn't want to see you anymore
'Cause I was just someone you'd left behind
I can't quit explain it, I'll just have to play it
I try but I can't get you out of my head
I'm so used to you being there
You're all I think, dream, breathe,
But I don't want no air anymore
What's it like to leave someone behind?
Did you want to look back?
You couldn't say, you just walked away
Just in time to crush my heart.
I can't quit explain it, I'll just have to play it
I try but I can't get you out of my head
I'm so used to you being there
You're all I think, dream, breathe,
But I don't want no air anymore
All I think, dream, breathe
But now that you're gone
I don't want no thoughts
Don't want no dreams
Don't want no air.
I'm so used to you being there,
But now you're gone and
you went and stomped on my heart when you stomped out of my house.
I had to look away- I didn't want to see you anymore
'Cause I was just someone you'd left behind
I can't quit explain it, I'll just have to play it
I try but I can't get you out of my head
I'm so used to you being there
You're all I think, dream, breathe,
But I don't want no air anymore
What's it like to leave someone behind?
Did you want to look back?
You couldn't say, you just walked away
Just in time to crush my heart.
I can't quit explain it, I'll just have to play it
I try but I can't get you out of my head
I'm so used to you being there
You're all I think, dream, breathe,
But I don't want no air anymore
All I think, dream, breathe
But now that you're gone
I don't want no thoughts
Don't want no dreams
Don't want no air.
I'm so used to you being there,
But now you're gone and
you went and stomped on my heart when you stomped out of my house.
Erase This Old Love Song From My Heart
The hardest part of this is letting go
We've had so many memories, I just can't forget
I still feel your arms around me and the taste of your lips
It started out as a love song, but then it went all wrong
You stopped calling, and I forgot the words that
I was supposed to be singing along.
It started out at a love song, but now it's just
A miserable memory.
I don't know if there's anything I can do-
I just can't shake your words from my ears,
And I don't know how to feel anymore.
I still look into your eyes when I close mine,
And it seems like there's only one way to make it go away.
I think I have to hate you to erase you from my heart.
It started out as a love song, but then it went all wrong
You stopped calling, and I forgot the words that
I was supposed to be singing along.
It started out at a love song, but now it's just
A miserable memory.
I know that if I love you still, I can't move on.
And maybe if I dream of you one more time,
It will haunt me and I'll lie awake in bed,
Thinking of your arms around me,
but it's all a broken memory and
I'll be so miserable without you, I'll grow to hate you.
It started out as a love song, but then it went all wrong
You stopped calling, and I forgot the words that
I was supposed to be singing along.
It started out at a love song, but now it's just
A miserable memory.
Maybe if I sing this old love song out of key,
I'll erase this painful memory.
We've had so many memories, I just can't forget
I still feel your arms around me and the taste of your lips
It started out as a love song, but then it went all wrong
You stopped calling, and I forgot the words that
I was supposed to be singing along.
It started out at a love song, but now it's just
A miserable memory.
I don't know if there's anything I can do-
I just can't shake your words from my ears,
And I don't know how to feel anymore.
I still look into your eyes when I close mine,
And it seems like there's only one way to make it go away.
I think I have to hate you to erase you from my heart.
It started out as a love song, but then it went all wrong
You stopped calling, and I forgot the words that
I was supposed to be singing along.
It started out at a love song, but now it's just
A miserable memory.
I know that if I love you still, I can't move on.
And maybe if I dream of you one more time,
It will haunt me and I'll lie awake in bed,
Thinking of your arms around me,
but it's all a broken memory and
I'll be so miserable without you, I'll grow to hate you.
It started out as a love song, but then it went all wrong
You stopped calling, and I forgot the words that
I was supposed to be singing along.
It started out at a love song, but now it's just
A miserable memory.
Maybe if I sing this old love song out of key,
I'll erase this painful memory.
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Elaina
In the trees. In the trees, Elaina hid. She was hiding from her ever so loving mother who wanted her to come inside. It was cold out, December, and Elaina had wanted to play outside. She loved the snow, and the biting chill of the wind. It made her feel alive, she said. Her mother always rolled her eyes at her, and so did her friends. But Elaina didn’t care. She loved it. Behind a giant deciduous tree, she sat, her eyes closed. Thinking about the world. Just thinking. Elaina suddenly jumped; she’d heard something. Something out of the ordinary. Her bright eyes shifted right, then left, as her hand jumped to her hair. What was that? She stood up, brushing the sparkling snow off her jeans, and ventured further into the forest. The further she went, the darker it got. It was like a horror movie, she thought. She’d never ventured this far before. She heard a leave crackle here, and a stick snap there, and the odd owl hooting. Every single time she heard that owl, a chill went down her spine, and the hair on the back of her neck stood straight up. There it was; she’d heard it again. Elaina jumped, and turned around, seeing nothing but darkness, and tree branches. She frowned, her black bangs clinging to her forehead. She brushed them away with a simple swipe, and carried on forward. She was looking for something, she decided, but she didn’t know what.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Hello Brooklyn (Chapter One)
Torin McTaggart sat in the back of the old Explorer as it sped along the Manhattan Bridge. He sighed, and looked out the window. It was dark out, about 9pm, and raining. The raindrops on the window made the streetlights blur into the New York Skyline. He stared, and counted each raindrop that fell on the window.
“Torin.” His younger sister, Coriann, poked him. “Hey, Torin.” He jumped, startled, and turned his attention away from the falling rain.
“Yeah?” He mustered a smile and brushed his black bangs out of his eyes. They were getting sort of long, but he liked them like that. “What’s up, Cori?”
“The night-time lights are pretty.” She said, and grinned. He laughed at her statement, and tousled her strawberry blonde curls. “Mom?” She then said, directing her next words at the small woman at the wheel, “Are we there yet?”
“Almost, Coriann. About five, ten minutes from here. We just have to go down Flatbush Ave, and we’re there.” She directed her attention away from the wheel to look back at her two children. The oldest, and the youngest. Torin was the oldest, at sixteen, and the youngest, being Cori at seven. The middle child, up in the front seat, was thirteen year old Madison. She had insisted upon sitting in the front seat for some reason, away from Coriann, whom she deemed ‘vexatious.’ Her and Torin got along okay, but they had their dark moments. Allison McTaggart took one last look at the backseat, then at Madison, then directed her attention back to driving. “Almost there.” She said again.
“Okay.” Cori said, and leaned her head in Torin’s lap. He stroked her hair, and looked out the window at the rain again. They weren’t on the bridge anymore. He saw the sign for Flatbush Ave. They weren’t even in Hoboken anymore, he thought. Of course, they hadn’t been for the last like, ten minutes, but whatever. They were moving from Hoboken, New Jersey to Brooklyn, New York City, to their Aunt Sheila’s to get away from their father, Allison’s ex husband. Well, technically, he was only little Cori’s father, but since Torin was nine, Roger Ticksten had been Torin and Madison’s father also. He’d been an alcoholic for three and a half of those seven years they’d been married, and abusive for two of them. Allison had finally had enough and divorced the man, and now, this, moving to a whole ‘nother state. Torin wasn’t really that upset about moving, he didn’t have that many friends in the first place. He was always the quiet artist type, his mom said. Coriann didn’t care much about leaving her friends. She was just excited about making new ones. Madison was the most upset about it. She’d had a fit before they left, and caused a scene at the McDonald’s in which they’d stopped for dinner. She’d been pretty popular apparently, and was worried she wouldn’t be here in Brooklyn. Torin counted the raindrops on the window in his head again, as he watched the townhouses pass, until the vehicle came to a stop in front of the last one. “Torin!” Cori poked him again, excitedly. “Torin, we’re here! We’re at Auntie Sheila’s house!” Torin sighed again, unbuckling his seatbelt, then helping Cori undo hers.
“Hello Brooklyn.”
“Torin.” His younger sister, Coriann, poked him. “Hey, Torin.” He jumped, startled, and turned his attention away from the falling rain.
“Yeah?” He mustered a smile and brushed his black bangs out of his eyes. They were getting sort of long, but he liked them like that. “What’s up, Cori?”
“The night-time lights are pretty.” She said, and grinned. He laughed at her statement, and tousled her strawberry blonde curls. “Mom?” She then said, directing her next words at the small woman at the wheel, “Are we there yet?”
“Almost, Coriann. About five, ten minutes from here. We just have to go down Flatbush Ave, and we’re there.” She directed her attention away from the wheel to look back at her two children. The oldest, and the youngest. Torin was the oldest, at sixteen, and the youngest, being Cori at seven. The middle child, up in the front seat, was thirteen year old Madison. She had insisted upon sitting in the front seat for some reason, away from Coriann, whom she deemed ‘vexatious.’ Her and Torin got along okay, but they had their dark moments. Allison McTaggart took one last look at the backseat, then at Madison, then directed her attention back to driving. “Almost there.” She said again.
“Okay.” Cori said, and leaned her head in Torin’s lap. He stroked her hair, and looked out the window at the rain again. They weren’t on the bridge anymore. He saw the sign for Flatbush Ave. They weren’t even in Hoboken anymore, he thought. Of course, they hadn’t been for the last like, ten minutes, but whatever. They were moving from Hoboken, New Jersey to Brooklyn, New York City, to their Aunt Sheila’s to get away from their father, Allison’s ex husband. Well, technically, he was only little Cori’s father, but since Torin was nine, Roger Ticksten had been Torin and Madison’s father also. He’d been an alcoholic for three and a half of those seven years they’d been married, and abusive for two of them. Allison had finally had enough and divorced the man, and now, this, moving to a whole ‘nother state. Torin wasn’t really that upset about moving, he didn’t have that many friends in the first place. He was always the quiet artist type, his mom said. Coriann didn’t care much about leaving her friends. She was just excited about making new ones. Madison was the most upset about it. She’d had a fit before they left, and caused a scene at the McDonald’s in which they’d stopped for dinner. She’d been pretty popular apparently, and was worried she wouldn’t be here in Brooklyn. Torin counted the raindrops on the window in his head again, as he watched the townhouses pass, until the vehicle came to a stop in front of the last one. “Torin!” Cori poked him again, excitedly. “Torin, we’re here! We’re at Auntie Sheila’s house!” Torin sighed again, unbuckling his seatbelt, then helping Cori undo hers.
“Hello Brooklyn.”
Monday, December 14, 2009
"A Christmas Story
December 3/09
It was cold outside, and there was snow on the ground. Brecken sat in the old armchair by the window, watching it fall. The big window, in the living room. Her mom and her little sister Aubryn were setting up the Christmas tree on the other side of the room. From the stereo on the table, her mom’s Christmas CD played really loud, and her mom sang along even louder. Brecken turned towards them, and covered her ears.
“Brecken, won’t you come help us?” Her mom stopped her singing to ask. Brecken sighed.
“I don’t want to...” She grumbled, adjusting the red bow in her hair. Her mom shook her head.
“But mommy, Brecken HAS to. Christmas means family! Mom, she HAS to!” Aubryn said. She was only eight. She turned and gave Brecken a pleading look. “Please, Brecken?”
“Uuughh...” Brecken scowled again, and stood up. She walked towards the tree. Aubryn handed her a Christmas ball to hang on it, as she happily danced to the music. Her mom, satisfied, went into the kitchen. Brecken looked down and glared at Aubryn behind her back as she hung up another Christmas ball. Her gaze lingered for a moment longer, then she saw a black mist sneak out from behind the tree. It was translucent, nearly opaque, and it was formed in almost a claw shape. It reached out towards Aubryn’s neck. She gasped in fear, and tried to swat it away from her sister. “No!” Aubryn looked up, confused.
“Brecken, what are you doing?” She blinked twice, her blue eyes forming a scowl. Brecken was speechless. Her eyes wandered to Aubryn’s neck, and then back to the side of the Christmas tree. There was nothing there. But she was so sure that she saw it. Her heart pounded, and she felt like she needed to catch her breath.
“N-nothing.” She said. “It looked like...yeah, nothing.”
“Okay...” Aubryn turned away and picked up a star shaped ornament, and hung it on the tree, then she smoothed out her skirt. Brecken pushed her hair behind her ears and put an ornament on the tree also. Then she saw the mist again, it came out of nowhere. She screamed. Her mom came rushing out of the kitchen, and back into the living room.
“What is going on here?!” She demanded.
“Brecken’s being weird.” Said Aubryn, matter-of-factly. Brecken’s cheeks turned red, and she looked down.
“Brecken, what were you doing?” Her mom asked her. She didn’t want to say. She was afraid her mother would think she was crazy. But then again, maybe she was crazy?
“I-I saw something, a black sort of mist...and it, um...it tried to grab Aubryn.” She blinked. Her mom blinked. Then she frowned in disbelief.
“You what? Is this some sort of joke?” She knew her mom wouldn’t believe her. But it was real, she really saw it. She was still shaken up by it.
“Why would I make it up?” She retorted. Aubryn turned and looked her up and down.
“She looks real scared, mom.” She reported. Then it hit her. “Wait, it was trying to grab me? Oh my god!?!” She reached over and tried to brush off her neck, her face twisting in disgust. “Mom, what if it’s real and it actually touched me!” She ran over and hugged her mother’s leg. Her mom glared at her.
“Brecken, just go upstairs. Don’t scare your sister. Just...go upstairs.” Brecken started towards the stairs, and looked back at the tree. Everything looked the way it should. There was no ‘black mist’ coming out from behind the tree, from what she could see. What was wrong with her?
Brecken had been in her room for the rest of the night, laying on top of her bed. She got bored at one point, and had tried reading a book, but it just wasn’t working out, and she had thrown it on the ground. It was still there, it’s pages mangled underneath it. She had tried to sleep also, but that didn’t work out so good either. She was restless, fitful. Every time her eyes closed, she saw that black mist snaking out from behind the Christmas tree, and her waking dreams were filled with images of it strangling her little sister. But why did this bother her so much? She didn’t even like her sister, as far as she knew. She sighed, and shut her eyes. She wished she knew what it was she saw, and why she saw it.
Brecken awoke to her alarm clock. She pushed it off the night stand with force, and it made a loud BANG noise on the carpet. She sat up and shrugged, then got out of bed, smoothing down her shirt. She realized that she was still dressed, as she had fallen asleep on top of her bed, instead of in it. She then remembered the last night. She shuddered.
“Brecken! Breakfast!” The sound of her mom’s voice snapped her out of it, and she walked downstairs, still in her jeans. She didn’t feel like changing. She entered the kitchen, and sat down at the table, although she didn’t much feel like eating. Her mom put a bowl of oatmeal in front of her, and poured a glass of orange juice. She did the same for Aubryn, who was wearing her hair in pigtails. “Eat fast, we have to leave soon.”
“Okay...” Said Brecken, lifting the spoon to her mouth, and swallowing the oatmeal. Her throat felt like closing up, and she gagged. She couldn’t eat this. It just wasn’t right. She glanced out the window at the snow as she took a sip of her orange juice, and there was a dark figure walking through it. She almost dropped her cup. She didn’t dare say anything though.
“Brecken, what’s wrong? You’re being weird again.” Aubryn piped up. “What are you looking at?”
“The snow.” She said simply, averting her eyes back to her oatmeal. She then carefully looked back up, and there was no figure in the window. Not even footprints. “Oh.” She said, out loud.
“What?” Said Aubryn.
“What?” She said back, confused.
“You said ‘Oh’. What are you ‘Oh’ing.”
“I just thought of something in my head.” She said, taking another spoonful to please her mother. She’d get bitched at if she didn’t eat. She kept glancing out the window to see if she could see anyone else outside. There was nothing the whole time, and it soon came time for them to leave. They got their coats on, and were rushed into the car. It was red, lol.
“Do your seatbelts up.” Their mom said. “The weather’s pretty bad.”
“Okay. Mine’s already done.” Said Aubryn. Her pink coat was done up and the fur hood was on overtop, of her rainbow toque. Brecken’s jacket was black, it had fur on the hood also. She wore no hat. “Brecken, do your seatbelt up.” Aubryn poked her. She jumped and turned.
“Oh...yeah.” The car started . The journey to school seemed very long to Brecken. She stared out the window, while Aubryn babbled on about absolutely nothing.
“Hey, we’re here. Get out.” She jumped, startled.
“Yeah.”
The classroom was decorated with cheery Christmas decorations. A string of lights was taped to the wall. Brecken wandered in, and placed her binder on her desk. She straightened it so it lined up perfectly. Then she placed her My Little Pony pencil case on top of it, and then she sat down, resting her elbow on the desk, and her head on her hand. She listened to the hustle of the students.
“Hey, Breck.” She looked up, seeing her best friend Parker. Parker was 5’0 tall, with platinum blonde hair, and bright green eyes. She was always dressed in something crazy and bright. Today, she had on a yellow t-shirt that covered her bum with black stars on it, and bright pink skinny jeans. Her shoes had rainbows on them, and a bright green belt went across her stomach. A matching green bow settled itself on the left side of her hair. “W’sup w’sup?!” Brecken looked up and smiled. Something familiar, finally.
“Hey, Parker.” She said. “I’m...tired. You?”
“Well, today, I didn’t know whether to use pink or blue eyeshadow...so I used both.” Brecken laughed. “What are you doing for Christmas? Did you set up the decorations yet? CAN I SEE?” She bounced up and down.
“Yeah...” Brecken’s heart pounded again, remembering what happened when she was setting up the tree. “Yeah, Aubryn and I... we decorated the tree last night.” She nodded. Parker also nodded.
“I see, lol.” Brecken looked back down at her desk. The bell rang, just then. “Okay, well I’ll see you after class then?” Said Parker.
“Yep.”
“Okay, so, page 69 for homework, read it.” The teacher said. “And have a Merry Christmas!” Then the bell rang. Brecken jumped. She was confused for a moment, and didn’t know what to do. Just then, Parker appeared at her desk again, like at the beginning of class.
“You coming? The bell rang.” She said, her outfit suddenly hurt Brecken’s eyes. They were best friends, but they dressed so different from eachother. Parker was all rainbow, whereas Brecken was wearing all black, except for her belt, which was black and white checkered, as well as her shoes, and the red bow in her hair. She was wearing the Etnies hoodie. Brecken stood up, and collected her binder and her pencil case, and followed Parker to her locker.
“Yeah.” She said quietly. She gave a fake smile. Parker opened her locker and shoved her bright pink binder into it. The one with all the drawings on it.
“Are you going to go to your own locker or...?” She laughed. “What are you waiting for?”
“Oh.” Said Brecken. She was totally out of it. What she saw the night before was on her mind, plaguing her like a disease. “Yeah...Where is it again?” Parker frowned for a moment, then said,
“Hey, are you okay?” Brecken considered telling Parker, then. About the stuff she’s been seeing. She didn’t know if Parker would believe her, but then again, Parker was crazy. Parker wouldn’t care.
“Um, hey, do you want to go to the bathroom?” said Brecken, grabbing Parker’s hand, and walking down the hall towards it.
“I guess I don’t have a choice, hey?” She said. When they got there, Parker sat up on the counter, first making sure it wasn’t wet. Brecken saw herself in the mirror and automatically fixed her hair, out of nowhere.
“Um okay, this is a secret, and it’s really weird, but you have to promise to believe me okay?” She said. Parker nodded.
“Okay.” She said. “Are you okay?”
“I don’t know.” Said Brecken, blinking. “I don’t know. Okay, It all started yesterday-er-last night, when Mom told me to decorate the Christmas tree with Aubryn. I was hanging up an ornament when all of a sudden this weird black MIST claw thing comes out of nowhere, and tries to grab Aubryn’s neck.” She felt nervous. She didn’t know how Parker would take this. She looked up at Parker’s face for a reaction. Parker blinked, taking it in.
“Oh.” She said. “What the fuck.” She blinked, and looked down at Brecken. “That’s so fucked up.”
“What is it?” Asked Brecken. She knew she could trust her best friend. “What do you think it means?” She felt close to crying now.
“You were hallucinating.” Said Parker, jumping down from the counter. “I’ve read about it.”
“Oh?” Said Brecken. Now she was surprised that Parker understood where she was coming from. “That wasn’t even all of it.” She told her friend. “This morning, when I was eating breakfast, I could’ve sworn I saw a dark figure walking across the snow. But I looked again after I turned away, and like, nothing was there. Nobody. Not even footprints in the snow!”
“That IS fucked up.” Parker said. “You need help.” She hugged her friend. “We’re going to be late for class though...” They both stood in the bathroom for a moment. “But then again,” Said Parker. “Who needs class?”
“I don’t, right now.” Said Brecken. “I can’t even handle like, thinking, at all.” Parker nodded, taking it in.
“Okay, hun. It’s okay. Grab your coat, we’re going to my house.”
Parker and Brecken were sitting in Parker’s room. Brecken was on the bed, and Parker was on the computer chair, spinning around.
“So, you said it started last night?”
“Yes.” Said Brecken, nodding. “When I was decorating the Christmas tree.”
“And you saw it again this morning?” Brecken nodded again.
“It was scary. All dark, and black, I just don’t know anymore, Parker.” She said. Suddenly, she saw the computer screen start to breathe. It went all in and out and wavy. She couldn’t tear her eyes away, it was like a car crash. “Um, Parker?” She started. “I don’t want to sound crazier or anything.. but ... your computer screen is breathing.”
“What?” Parker subconsciously rolled the chair away from the desk. “What do you mean?”
“Your computer screen. It’s like, going in and out. I don’t fucking know.”
“Oh. You’re hallucinating again, Breck.” She said, jumping off the chair, and sitting on the bed next to Brecken.
“Parker, I don’t like, it make it stop, please.” She burst into tears. Parker was stunned. Brecken was acting really, really weird today. She was actually like, really worried.
“It’s okay, hun, it’s okay.” She said. “We’ll figure this out.”
The doorbell rang at Parker’s house. Brecken was laying on Parker’s bed, and Parker was doodling in a notebook, sitting on the end of the bed. The end without the pillow. “Somebody get that!” She yelled. A minute later, her bedroom door was opened by her brother, and she could hear her dad yelling at the sports on the TV. And the Christmas music that was on the radio. Oh, mid December.
“Hey, Parker, Brecken’s mom is here.” He said, then walked away.
“Okay, thanks.” Said Parker, she poked Brecken’s knee. “Hey, Breck. Your mom’s here, come on.” Brecken opened her eyes, seeing stars on the ceiling. Like when you get hit in the head real hard.
“Yeah.” She said weakly. She sat up, and got a head rush. Parker started towards the door, and she followed suit.
“Brecken, why are you at Parker’s?” Her mom asked her.
“I don’t know.” Said Brecken truthfully. “I was having a bad day. I felt sick, and I didn’t feel like calling home” She said. “I thought you might get mad. But I guess I was wrong because you’re still mad right now, aren’t you?” Her mom frowned.
“Get in the car.” She pointed out the door. Brecken shrugged, and walked out to the car.
“Okay, bye Parker.”
“Bye Brecken.” She closed the door, waving, as Brecken’s mom followed her oldest daughter to the car. “Brecken, why were you at Parker’s?” She asked again.
“Mom, I told you. I was having a bad day.”
“You should’ve called me. I had to call around your friends to find out where you were. “ Her mom fumed.
“I’m sorry, Mom.” Said Brecken. Aubryn was in the back seat. She just laughed.
“Brecken’s in trouble, isn’t she, mom?”
“Yes, she is.” Said their mom, looking back at Brecken and glaring, while trying to drive through the snow. There were weird tinselly bell shaped decorations on the light posts. Brecken looked out the car window. She was always looking out windows. She didn’t know what it was about windows, but she was drawn to looking out them. It was very strange. She sighed, and slid down in the seat, not even bothering with her seatbelt. When they got to the house, Brecken’s mom lectured her even more.
“Do you want some eggnog?” She asked Brecken. She nodded, even though she did not want any. Her mom poured her a glass. Brecken was sitting at her seat at the kitchen table. Her mom handed her the glass she had poured of it.
“Thanks,” She said. She was scared. She hated when her mom was like this. It wasn’t very Christmassy of her.
“So, Brecken...” Her mom started. “What were you thinking? Christmas is tomorrow, it’s supposed to be a family thing. Why were you at Parkers?”
“You’ve already asked me this, and I’ve already answered.” Said Brecken. “I went to Parker’s because I had a bad day.”
“Okay...” Said her mom. “What does having a bad day have anything to do with Parker? Can’t you have one at home?”
“Um, no. Parker cheers me up.” Brecken frowned. “I wanted to have a talk with her.” She said, she brushed her dark hair behind her ears. “I wanted to tell her what I’ve been seeing, because you don’t believe me. She did.” Mom frowned, and glared at her daughter.
“I don’t like this. What’s wrong with you? Why are you seeing things? Couldn’t you have chosen some other time than CHRISTMAS to go insane?” She ranted. Brecken shrugged.
“I don’t know, okay Mom?” She said. She slammed the glass on the table and stood up, hands on her hips. “I have no idea, what’s going on. Mom, I’m seeing thing that aren’t there. When I was at Parker’s, her computer screen started breathing. It was fucked up. Mom, I’m scared okay, why don’t you believe me? I may be crazy, but I’m telling the truth!” Her mom stopped, her mouth open.
“Okay.” She said. “You’re telling me, Brecken, that you’re actually seeing these things?” Brecken nodded.
“Yeah.” She said. “I saw. I saw um, a hand, it was black, and translucent, like a mist, sort of, and it was like, reaching out and grabbing onto Aubryn almost.” She said, looking up at her mom.
“Oh.” Said her mom, running her hands through her hair. “Oh.”
“Yeah...”
“You need help... I can’t believe this. Fuck...Christmas is tomorrow, and my daughter is hallucinating evil mist. God damn!” Brecken tucked her knees up to her chest, her feet were on the chair now.
“I’m sorry.” She said. I’m so sorry.” She burst into tears, and her mom just walked away into the next room.
“Ah, what am I going to do with you, Brecken?!”
“I don’t know...” She said tearfully, shrugging, letting her legs hang off the chair again. It was like 9pm, and Brecken was honestly really tired. Too much on her mind took a lot out of her, and to top it off, her mom was mad at her, and such. Like, she felt drained. “Mom?”
“Yes?”
“Can I go to bed?” She asked.
“Yes.” Her mom said. “You should, you need your rest. Plus, it’s CHRISTMAS tomorrow.” Brecken nodded.
“Yeah, it is. Goodnight, mom.”
“Goodnight.” Brecken got up, sniffling, and walked through the living room and up the stairs to her bedroom. She lay down in her bed and stared at the ceiling. She closed her eyes. Colorful patterns of sky magenta and yellow flashed upon her eyes. She opened them, and suddenly the ceiling looked like that. She jumped. “Holy shit...” She whispered. She blinked, and her ceiling was normal again. What was going on with her? She sighed, and closed her eyes again. “Sleep, please...” She whispered to herself. “Sleep... tomorrow is Christmas...”
“Brecken! Brecken! Brecken! Wake up! It’s Christmas! It’s CHRISTMAS!” Brecken opened her eyes slowly. And as she did that, she saw Aubryn jumping on her bed in her Cinderella jammies.
“Mm, what?”
“It’s CHRISTMAS!” She exclaimed excitedly, then jumped off the bed, and ran out of the room. “Come ON, Brecken!”
“Okay, okay, jeez..” Brecken said sleepily, rubbing her eyes, and getting out of bed. She slowly followed Aubryn down the stairs to where the tree was, still half asleep. Everything looked normal... Aubryn sat down in front of the tree, and rummaged through all of the presents.
“This one’s for me, and this one’s for me, and this one’s for Mom, and this one’s for me, and this one’s for Brecken...” She said, eyeing the shiny gold wrapping paper. Brecken sighed, and sat down on the couch.
“Hey, Aubryn, do you want some eggnog or something?” She asked, bored already. She didn’t even know what time it was. Aubryn mumbled something that sounded like a yes, so Brecken walked into the kitchen to pour a cup, but when she opened the fridge, the black mist popped out. She screamed, and dropped the cup. Aubryn came rushing into the room.
“Did you break a glass?” She asked, frowning and pointing at the shards on the floor. “You did so! Better go put your slippers on so it doesn’t get stuck in your feet.” She said. “Why did you scream? I heard you scream.”
“You know that mist I was talking about?” Brecken started, skeptical.
“Yeah...” Aubryn frowned again. “What about it...?”
“Well, I opened the fridge and it popped out at me.” She said, trying to catch her breath. Her heart was pounding. “I swear to God...” She said.
“I’m going to get Mom...” Aubryn started, and cautiously walked out of the kitchen. Brecken sighed. She was sorry for scaring her sister, but she had to tell her. Who screams when they open the fridge? CRAZY PEOPLE, that’s who. Brecken was CRAZY. What a great way to start Christmas, hey? She leaned up against the counter and closed her eyes. She heard footsteps.
“Brecken!” She jumped and turned towards the doorway at her mom’s voice.
“Yeah, Mom?”
“What did you tell your sister?”
“I saw the black mist in the fridge.” Said Brecken matter-of-factly. “It popped out at me when I was going to get her some eggnog.”
“Oh.” Said Mom. “Well, clean that glass up, okay? Aubryn and I are going to be in the living room by the tree.” Brecken nodded, and opened the cupboard under the sink to get out the dustpan thingy.
The hot water rained down on Brecken’s back. She tilted her head back and let it roll down her hair and her forehead, her eyes closed. She sighed, pushing her hair back with her hands. She then lifted her head back up and opened her eyes. She was now facing the white tile wall of the shower. She looked up at the ceiling. It seemed like the corners were filled with the dark mist. Like in The Grudge. It wasn’t trying to grab at her, though. It was just there...lingering in the corners. She felt like she couldn’t breathe. She wanted to scream, but decided against it, because well, a) It didn’t look like it was going to hurt her. She saw no claws this time. And, b) She was naked, and wet, in the shower. Yeah, try explaining this one to Mom. ‘Oh, I saw the mist in the ceiling corners! I’m naked, and I’m in the shower!’. Yeah, okay. That didn’t even make any sense. Of course you’d be naked in the shower... Brecken closed her eyes again, trying to block out the image of it. Then she squeezed her hair out, and stepped out of the shower, hastily grabbing the dark green towel on the towel rack. She wrapped herself in it, and paused briefly, looking in the bathroom mirror, before she opened the door and stepped out into the world. She reached out, and wiped the fog off of it with her hand. Her reflection stared back at her. She saw her dark wet hair dripping onto her face, and her yellow-brown eyes blinked. Then she opened the door and left the bathroom.
“Brecken!” She heard her mom calling, when the doorbell rang that night. “Would you get the door, please?” She straightened her red sweater, to go with the red bow she always wore, in the mirror, before leaving the room, and rushing down the stairs.
“Yeah!” Where was Aubryn? She wondered. She should be at the door, too. She peered through the frosted window on the side, before unlocking and opening the door. She put on her best fake smile.
“Hi!” She grinned, revealing her Uncle Lucas, and her cousin Emilice. Emilice was a year older than her, and had blonde hair, a shade darker than Parker’s, but she left it unstraightened, so the waves fell in her face. She had a sort of troubled look to her, the same look you could see in Brecken’s face.
“Hi, Brecken!” Greeted Uncle Lucas. “How are you doing?”
“Good.” She said, smiling again. “My mom’s...in the kitchen, I think.” She said, pausing, unsure of herself. “And Aubryn’s in her room getting ready still. I think she’s trying on all her dresses.” She laughed, and looked up at Emilice, who was only an inch or two taller than her, and still only standing at 5’4. “Hi.” She said.
“Hi.” Emilice said back. She combed her slender fingers through her beach waves.
“Let’s go up to my room, I guess?” Brecken said, in question form, though Emilice didn’t have a choice, as Brecken had grabbed her hand, lightly, and led her up the stairs to her bedroom. She sat down on the bed, and Emilice stood in the doorway, her right arm crossed her chest, holding onto her left upper arm, like those shy kids you see, you know? Her icy blue eyes shifted around the room. She then frowned, her gaze locked in the top right corner.
“What are you looking at?” Brecken asked, and her heart fluttered.
“Nothing.” Emilice said quickly, snapping back to reality. She glanced quickly at Brecken, then looked down at the floor.
“It’s okay.” Said Brecken. “Did you see something in the corner?”
“Yes.” Said Emilice reluctantly. “A mist...”
“Was it black?” Asked Brecken, growing excited, actually. She was delighted she’d found someone who saw things like she did.
“Yes... why?”
“I see it too.” Explained Brecken. “All the time. It started two days ago when I was helping Aubryn decorate the Christmas tree...” She told Emilice the story.
“I’ve been seeing it for years.” Said Emilice. “I’ve tried to hide it, but it’s just so hard. You’d think I’d be used to it by now.” Brecken agreed.
“It’s hard to get used to.” She nodded. “Do you know what it is? Can’t you get help for this sort of thing?” She asked her cousin.
“I didn’t want to tell my dad.” She said. “I don’t want to get sent to the loony bin.”
“I told my mom.” Said Brecken. “I had to. She kept catching me hallucinating. It’s hard to make up excuses when you’re caught screaming when you’re looking in the fridge. It’s not like I’d be that upset over rotten lettuce or something.” Emilice laughed.
“Yeah. I guess you’re right.” She said.
“Now she thinks I’m crazy...but hey, we both see it, so maybe, if we get sent to the loony bin, we can get sent there together.” Emilice nodded.
“I want to go tell my dad now.” She said.
“Wait.” Said Brecken. “After dinner. What if he doesn’t take it well?”
“Okay. Good point. After dinner.”
“Pass the gravy, Brecken.” Aubryn demanded, pointing at the gravy boat. “I want some for my mashed potatoes.”
“How many helpings have you had now, Aubryn?” Brecken pointed out. “Is it, like what, three now?” Aubryn scowled.
“No! Not that many!” Brecken laughed, as did Emilice. Then she grabbed the gravy boat by the handle and passed it to her sister anyways. She took another bite of turkey, then, catching a glimpse of a dark figure in the mirror, she slowly put her fork down, and whispered in her cousin’s ear.
“I see a dark figure in the mirror...” Emilice’s eyes widened. She looked in the mirror too, but she couldn’t see it.
“I don’t.” She said, frowning. “Can you still?”
“No.” Brecken shook her head. “It’s gone now. But when we were in my room, I couldn’t see what you saw in the corner. I don’t think we see things at the same time.”
“Ah.” Emilice nodded her head in understanding. “Okay.”
“Is everyone done?” Mom asked, standing up, and taking Uncle Lucas’s plate. Brecken and Emilice both nodded at the same time.
“Yes.”
“I’m not!” Aubryn protested. “I’m still eating my mashed potatoes!” Mom took her plate anyways, as Aubryn folded her arms and pouted.
“That’s enough, don’t you want dessert?” Aubryn then nodded vigorously.
“Yes, please!”
“Well, you’re excused, go play. We’ll have dessert in half an hour, before presents.” Aubryn jumped out of her chair, not bothering to push it in, and ran up to her room. Uncle Lucas laughed.
“That kid...” He said. “She’s a feisty one.” Mom laughed. Emilice facepalmed.
“Dinner’s over...” Brecken whispered into her ear. “Want to now?” Emilice nodded, swallowing.
“I’ll start.” Said Brecken, giving her an encouraging smile. “Hey, mom?” She started.
“Yes, dear?”
“You know the stuff I’ve been seeing? The black mist?” Her mom scowled, and shushed her.
“Not while company’s here.” She frowned, sighing.
“But Emilice sees it too!” She persisted.
“What?!”Both Mom and Uncle Lucas turned, facing the girls.
“This has to be a joke.” Said Uncle Lucas. “Do you really hallucinate things?” He asked his daughter, Brecken’s cousin. “What sort of things?”
“This weird, translucent, like, black mist thing. It hides in corners and stuff.” She told him. He frowned, and nodded, as if to encourage her. Then he looked at his niece. “And you say you see this ‘black mist’ thing also?” He asked her. She nodded.
“Yes.” She said. “Although it’s not always in corners for me. I’ve seen it come from behind the Christmas tree, and in the fridge, and sometimes I see dark figures randomly. It’s weird.”
“Oh, Brecken...” Her mom groaned. “That’s so messed up.”
“I know.” She agreed. “I wish I knew what was going on here. Emilice told me she’s been seeing it for years.”
“I have.” Emilice spoke again. “Ever since I was Aubryn’s age. Now I’m in 10th grade, and I’m still seeing things that aren’t there.”
“That’s like five years...” Uncle Lucas put his hand on her shoulder. “You need help, sweetheart.”
“I know...” She sighed.
“And you too, Brecken.” He put his other hand on Brecken’s shoulder. “Both of you.” Just then, the doorbell rang.
“Well that’s weird.” Said Mom. “Who’d be ringing the doorbell at this hour? It’s six! We didn’t invite anyone else...”
“I’ll get it!” Came Aubryn’s shrill voice, and she ran down the stairs and opened the door. “It’s Parker!” She yelled, before anyone could even look over in that direction.
“Oh, come in.” Mom motioned for her to enter, and she took off her shoes and jacket.
“Hi!” She greeted, grinning and waving. “I just wanted to check on Brecken. You guys apparently aren’t answering your phone.”
“Oh.” Said Mom. “I didn’t even hear it the whole night.”
“That’s actually really weird...” Brecken pointed out. “Hi, Parker.” She stood up and they embraced for a moment. “You’ve met my cousin Emilice, right?”
“Yep.” Parker nodded. “Hi, Emilice.”
“Hi.” Said Emilice shyly.
“Can we have dessert now that EVERYONE’s here?” Aubryn said, rather overdramatically. Everyone laughed.
“Yeah, sure, why not.” Mom went back into the kitchen, and came out with a large apple pie. She set it on the table, and they all shared it.
Aubryn tore off the shiny wrapping paper of her last present with glee.
“Yes! The new Barbie I wanted! THANK YOU Uncle Lucas!” She dropped it to the ground carelessly, and ran over to hug him in thanks for it. Why she dropped it carelessly, I don’t know. I wouldn’t have.
“You’re quite welcome.” He laughed. Brecken shook her head at her sister, and was toying with the iPod she got. It was red. Something black slithered up from underneath the box on the floor, and shrouded her hand. She blinked, her eyes widening, and she dropped the iPod to the ground.
“Go away.” She told the mist, frowning.
“What’s going on?” Asked Aubryn, tugging on Uncle Lucas’s shirt. Parker stifled back a giggle. “Who’s she telling to go away? Her iPod? That’s weird.”
“No.” Emilice told her. “The black misty stuff. I saw it too, this time.”
“Oh.” Said Aubryn. “That’s even weirder. I don’t like the black mist.”
“And you think I do?” Brecken glared at her sister, picking up her new iPod, and wrapping the headphones around it. She shook her head. “Mom, what are we going to do about this?”
It was midnight now, getting quite late. Parker was sleeping over, apparently, but Emilice had to go home, as her and Uncle Lucas lived an hour away, in the next town over. They were standing at the front door. Mom, Aubryn, and Parker sat on the stairs. Brecken hugged Emilice goodbye.
“What a weird Christmas, hey?” Said Brecken.
“ I know, right?” Emilice agreed, laughing. “Weird Christmas.” They released their embrace, and Brecken waved as Emilice and her father went down the walk. After Brecken turned away to go upstairs with Parker, out of the periphery of her vision, she saw the black mist reach out and follow Emilice into the car.
It was cold outside, and there was snow on the ground. Brecken sat in the old armchair by the window, watching it fall. The big window, in the living room. Her mom and her little sister Aubryn were setting up the Christmas tree on the other side of the room. From the stereo on the table, her mom’s Christmas CD played really loud, and her mom sang along even louder. Brecken turned towards them, and covered her ears.
“Brecken, won’t you come help us?” Her mom stopped her singing to ask. Brecken sighed.
“I don’t want to...” She grumbled, adjusting the red bow in her hair. Her mom shook her head.
“But mommy, Brecken HAS to. Christmas means family! Mom, she HAS to!” Aubryn said. She was only eight. She turned and gave Brecken a pleading look. “Please, Brecken?”
“Uuughh...” Brecken scowled again, and stood up. She walked towards the tree. Aubryn handed her a Christmas ball to hang on it, as she happily danced to the music. Her mom, satisfied, went into the kitchen. Brecken looked down and glared at Aubryn behind her back as she hung up another Christmas ball. Her gaze lingered for a moment longer, then she saw a black mist sneak out from behind the tree. It was translucent, nearly opaque, and it was formed in almost a claw shape. It reached out towards Aubryn’s neck. She gasped in fear, and tried to swat it away from her sister. “No!” Aubryn looked up, confused.
“Brecken, what are you doing?” She blinked twice, her blue eyes forming a scowl. Brecken was speechless. Her eyes wandered to Aubryn’s neck, and then back to the side of the Christmas tree. There was nothing there. But she was so sure that she saw it. Her heart pounded, and she felt like she needed to catch her breath.
“N-nothing.” She said. “It looked like...yeah, nothing.”
“Okay...” Aubryn turned away and picked up a star shaped ornament, and hung it on the tree, then she smoothed out her skirt. Brecken pushed her hair behind her ears and put an ornament on the tree also. Then she saw the mist again, it came out of nowhere. She screamed. Her mom came rushing out of the kitchen, and back into the living room.
“What is going on here?!” She demanded.
“Brecken’s being weird.” Said Aubryn, matter-of-factly. Brecken’s cheeks turned red, and she looked down.
“Brecken, what were you doing?” Her mom asked her. She didn’t want to say. She was afraid her mother would think she was crazy. But then again, maybe she was crazy?
“I-I saw something, a black sort of mist...and it, um...it tried to grab Aubryn.” She blinked. Her mom blinked. Then she frowned in disbelief.
“You what? Is this some sort of joke?” She knew her mom wouldn’t believe her. But it was real, she really saw it. She was still shaken up by it.
“Why would I make it up?” She retorted. Aubryn turned and looked her up and down.
“She looks real scared, mom.” She reported. Then it hit her. “Wait, it was trying to grab me? Oh my god!?!” She reached over and tried to brush off her neck, her face twisting in disgust. “Mom, what if it’s real and it actually touched me!” She ran over and hugged her mother’s leg. Her mom glared at her.
“Brecken, just go upstairs. Don’t scare your sister. Just...go upstairs.” Brecken started towards the stairs, and looked back at the tree. Everything looked the way it should. There was no ‘black mist’ coming out from behind the tree, from what she could see. What was wrong with her?
Brecken had been in her room for the rest of the night, laying on top of her bed. She got bored at one point, and had tried reading a book, but it just wasn’t working out, and she had thrown it on the ground. It was still there, it’s pages mangled underneath it. She had tried to sleep also, but that didn’t work out so good either. She was restless, fitful. Every time her eyes closed, she saw that black mist snaking out from behind the Christmas tree, and her waking dreams were filled with images of it strangling her little sister. But why did this bother her so much? She didn’t even like her sister, as far as she knew. She sighed, and shut her eyes. She wished she knew what it was she saw, and why she saw it.
Brecken awoke to her alarm clock. She pushed it off the night stand with force, and it made a loud BANG noise on the carpet. She sat up and shrugged, then got out of bed, smoothing down her shirt. She realized that she was still dressed, as she had fallen asleep on top of her bed, instead of in it. She then remembered the last night. She shuddered.
“Brecken! Breakfast!” The sound of her mom’s voice snapped her out of it, and she walked downstairs, still in her jeans. She didn’t feel like changing. She entered the kitchen, and sat down at the table, although she didn’t much feel like eating. Her mom put a bowl of oatmeal in front of her, and poured a glass of orange juice. She did the same for Aubryn, who was wearing her hair in pigtails. “Eat fast, we have to leave soon.”
“Okay...” Said Brecken, lifting the spoon to her mouth, and swallowing the oatmeal. Her throat felt like closing up, and she gagged. She couldn’t eat this. It just wasn’t right. She glanced out the window at the snow as she took a sip of her orange juice, and there was a dark figure walking through it. She almost dropped her cup. She didn’t dare say anything though.
“Brecken, what’s wrong? You’re being weird again.” Aubryn piped up. “What are you looking at?”
“The snow.” She said simply, averting her eyes back to her oatmeal. She then carefully looked back up, and there was no figure in the window. Not even footprints. “Oh.” She said, out loud.
“What?” Said Aubryn.
“What?” She said back, confused.
“You said ‘Oh’. What are you ‘Oh’ing.”
“I just thought of something in my head.” She said, taking another spoonful to please her mother. She’d get bitched at if she didn’t eat. She kept glancing out the window to see if she could see anyone else outside. There was nothing the whole time, and it soon came time for them to leave. They got their coats on, and were rushed into the car. It was red, lol.
“Do your seatbelts up.” Their mom said. “The weather’s pretty bad.”
“Okay. Mine’s already done.” Said Aubryn. Her pink coat was done up and the fur hood was on overtop, of her rainbow toque. Brecken’s jacket was black, it had fur on the hood also. She wore no hat. “Brecken, do your seatbelt up.” Aubryn poked her. She jumped and turned.
“Oh...yeah.” The car started . The journey to school seemed very long to Brecken. She stared out the window, while Aubryn babbled on about absolutely nothing.
“Hey, we’re here. Get out.” She jumped, startled.
“Yeah.”
The classroom was decorated with cheery Christmas decorations. A string of lights was taped to the wall. Brecken wandered in, and placed her binder on her desk. She straightened it so it lined up perfectly. Then she placed her My Little Pony pencil case on top of it, and then she sat down, resting her elbow on the desk, and her head on her hand. She listened to the hustle of the students.
“Hey, Breck.” She looked up, seeing her best friend Parker. Parker was 5’0 tall, with platinum blonde hair, and bright green eyes. She was always dressed in something crazy and bright. Today, she had on a yellow t-shirt that covered her bum with black stars on it, and bright pink skinny jeans. Her shoes had rainbows on them, and a bright green belt went across her stomach. A matching green bow settled itself on the left side of her hair. “W’sup w’sup?!” Brecken looked up and smiled. Something familiar, finally.
“Hey, Parker.” She said. “I’m...tired. You?”
“Well, today, I didn’t know whether to use pink or blue eyeshadow...so I used both.” Brecken laughed. “What are you doing for Christmas? Did you set up the decorations yet? CAN I SEE?” She bounced up and down.
“Yeah...” Brecken’s heart pounded again, remembering what happened when she was setting up the tree. “Yeah, Aubryn and I... we decorated the tree last night.” She nodded. Parker also nodded.
“I see, lol.” Brecken looked back down at her desk. The bell rang, just then. “Okay, well I’ll see you after class then?” Said Parker.
“Yep.”
“Okay, so, page 69 for homework, read it.” The teacher said. “And have a Merry Christmas!” Then the bell rang. Brecken jumped. She was confused for a moment, and didn’t know what to do. Just then, Parker appeared at her desk again, like at the beginning of class.
“You coming? The bell rang.” She said, her outfit suddenly hurt Brecken’s eyes. They were best friends, but they dressed so different from eachother. Parker was all rainbow, whereas Brecken was wearing all black, except for her belt, which was black and white checkered, as well as her shoes, and the red bow in her hair. She was wearing the Etnies hoodie. Brecken stood up, and collected her binder and her pencil case, and followed Parker to her locker.
“Yeah.” She said quietly. She gave a fake smile. Parker opened her locker and shoved her bright pink binder into it. The one with all the drawings on it.
“Are you going to go to your own locker or...?” She laughed. “What are you waiting for?”
“Oh.” Said Brecken. She was totally out of it. What she saw the night before was on her mind, plaguing her like a disease. “Yeah...Where is it again?” Parker frowned for a moment, then said,
“Hey, are you okay?” Brecken considered telling Parker, then. About the stuff she’s been seeing. She didn’t know if Parker would believe her, but then again, Parker was crazy. Parker wouldn’t care.
“Um, hey, do you want to go to the bathroom?” said Brecken, grabbing Parker’s hand, and walking down the hall towards it.
“I guess I don’t have a choice, hey?” She said. When they got there, Parker sat up on the counter, first making sure it wasn’t wet. Brecken saw herself in the mirror and automatically fixed her hair, out of nowhere.
“Um okay, this is a secret, and it’s really weird, but you have to promise to believe me okay?” She said. Parker nodded.
“Okay.” She said. “Are you okay?”
“I don’t know.” Said Brecken, blinking. “I don’t know. Okay, It all started yesterday-er-last night, when Mom told me to decorate the Christmas tree with Aubryn. I was hanging up an ornament when all of a sudden this weird black MIST claw thing comes out of nowhere, and tries to grab Aubryn’s neck.” She felt nervous. She didn’t know how Parker would take this. She looked up at Parker’s face for a reaction. Parker blinked, taking it in.
“Oh.” She said. “What the fuck.” She blinked, and looked down at Brecken. “That’s so fucked up.”
“What is it?” Asked Brecken. She knew she could trust her best friend. “What do you think it means?” She felt close to crying now.
“You were hallucinating.” Said Parker, jumping down from the counter. “I’ve read about it.”
“Oh?” Said Brecken. Now she was surprised that Parker understood where she was coming from. “That wasn’t even all of it.” She told her friend. “This morning, when I was eating breakfast, I could’ve sworn I saw a dark figure walking across the snow. But I looked again after I turned away, and like, nothing was there. Nobody. Not even footprints in the snow!”
“That IS fucked up.” Parker said. “You need help.” She hugged her friend. “We’re going to be late for class though...” They both stood in the bathroom for a moment. “But then again,” Said Parker. “Who needs class?”
“I don’t, right now.” Said Brecken. “I can’t even handle like, thinking, at all.” Parker nodded, taking it in.
“Okay, hun. It’s okay. Grab your coat, we’re going to my house.”
Parker and Brecken were sitting in Parker’s room. Brecken was on the bed, and Parker was on the computer chair, spinning around.
“So, you said it started last night?”
“Yes.” Said Brecken, nodding. “When I was decorating the Christmas tree.”
“And you saw it again this morning?” Brecken nodded again.
“It was scary. All dark, and black, I just don’t know anymore, Parker.” She said. Suddenly, she saw the computer screen start to breathe. It went all in and out and wavy. She couldn’t tear her eyes away, it was like a car crash. “Um, Parker?” She started. “I don’t want to sound crazier or anything.. but ... your computer screen is breathing.”
“What?” Parker subconsciously rolled the chair away from the desk. “What do you mean?”
“Your computer screen. It’s like, going in and out. I don’t fucking know.”
“Oh. You’re hallucinating again, Breck.” She said, jumping off the chair, and sitting on the bed next to Brecken.
“Parker, I don’t like, it make it stop, please.” She burst into tears. Parker was stunned. Brecken was acting really, really weird today. She was actually like, really worried.
“It’s okay, hun, it’s okay.” She said. “We’ll figure this out.”
The doorbell rang at Parker’s house. Brecken was laying on Parker’s bed, and Parker was doodling in a notebook, sitting on the end of the bed. The end without the pillow. “Somebody get that!” She yelled. A minute later, her bedroom door was opened by her brother, and she could hear her dad yelling at the sports on the TV. And the Christmas music that was on the radio. Oh, mid December.
“Hey, Parker, Brecken’s mom is here.” He said, then walked away.
“Okay, thanks.” Said Parker, she poked Brecken’s knee. “Hey, Breck. Your mom’s here, come on.” Brecken opened her eyes, seeing stars on the ceiling. Like when you get hit in the head real hard.
“Yeah.” She said weakly. She sat up, and got a head rush. Parker started towards the door, and she followed suit.
“Brecken, why are you at Parker’s?” Her mom asked her.
“I don’t know.” Said Brecken truthfully. “I was having a bad day. I felt sick, and I didn’t feel like calling home” She said. “I thought you might get mad. But I guess I was wrong because you’re still mad right now, aren’t you?” Her mom frowned.
“Get in the car.” She pointed out the door. Brecken shrugged, and walked out to the car.
“Okay, bye Parker.”
“Bye Brecken.” She closed the door, waving, as Brecken’s mom followed her oldest daughter to the car. “Brecken, why were you at Parker’s?” She asked again.
“Mom, I told you. I was having a bad day.”
“You should’ve called me. I had to call around your friends to find out where you were. “ Her mom fumed.
“I’m sorry, Mom.” Said Brecken. Aubryn was in the back seat. She just laughed.
“Brecken’s in trouble, isn’t she, mom?”
“Yes, she is.” Said their mom, looking back at Brecken and glaring, while trying to drive through the snow. There were weird tinselly bell shaped decorations on the light posts. Brecken looked out the car window. She was always looking out windows. She didn’t know what it was about windows, but she was drawn to looking out them. It was very strange. She sighed, and slid down in the seat, not even bothering with her seatbelt. When they got to the house, Brecken’s mom lectured her even more.
“Do you want some eggnog?” She asked Brecken. She nodded, even though she did not want any. Her mom poured her a glass. Brecken was sitting at her seat at the kitchen table. Her mom handed her the glass she had poured of it.
“Thanks,” She said. She was scared. She hated when her mom was like this. It wasn’t very Christmassy of her.
“So, Brecken...” Her mom started. “What were you thinking? Christmas is tomorrow, it’s supposed to be a family thing. Why were you at Parkers?”
“You’ve already asked me this, and I’ve already answered.” Said Brecken. “I went to Parker’s because I had a bad day.”
“Okay...” Said her mom. “What does having a bad day have anything to do with Parker? Can’t you have one at home?”
“Um, no. Parker cheers me up.” Brecken frowned. “I wanted to have a talk with her.” She said, she brushed her dark hair behind her ears. “I wanted to tell her what I’ve been seeing, because you don’t believe me. She did.” Mom frowned, and glared at her daughter.
“I don’t like this. What’s wrong with you? Why are you seeing things? Couldn’t you have chosen some other time than CHRISTMAS to go insane?” She ranted. Brecken shrugged.
“I don’t know, okay Mom?” She said. She slammed the glass on the table and stood up, hands on her hips. “I have no idea, what’s going on. Mom, I’m seeing thing that aren’t there. When I was at Parker’s, her computer screen started breathing. It was fucked up. Mom, I’m scared okay, why don’t you believe me? I may be crazy, but I’m telling the truth!” Her mom stopped, her mouth open.
“Okay.” She said. “You’re telling me, Brecken, that you’re actually seeing these things?” Brecken nodded.
“Yeah.” She said. “I saw. I saw um, a hand, it was black, and translucent, like a mist, sort of, and it was like, reaching out and grabbing onto Aubryn almost.” She said, looking up at her mom.
“Oh.” Said her mom, running her hands through her hair. “Oh.”
“Yeah...”
“You need help... I can’t believe this. Fuck...Christmas is tomorrow, and my daughter is hallucinating evil mist. God damn!” Brecken tucked her knees up to her chest, her feet were on the chair now.
“I’m sorry.” She said. I’m so sorry.” She burst into tears, and her mom just walked away into the next room.
“Ah, what am I going to do with you, Brecken?!”
“I don’t know...” She said tearfully, shrugging, letting her legs hang off the chair again. It was like 9pm, and Brecken was honestly really tired. Too much on her mind took a lot out of her, and to top it off, her mom was mad at her, and such. Like, she felt drained. “Mom?”
“Yes?”
“Can I go to bed?” She asked.
“Yes.” Her mom said. “You should, you need your rest. Plus, it’s CHRISTMAS tomorrow.” Brecken nodded.
“Yeah, it is. Goodnight, mom.”
“Goodnight.” Brecken got up, sniffling, and walked through the living room and up the stairs to her bedroom. She lay down in her bed and stared at the ceiling. She closed her eyes. Colorful patterns of sky magenta and yellow flashed upon her eyes. She opened them, and suddenly the ceiling looked like that. She jumped. “Holy shit...” She whispered. She blinked, and her ceiling was normal again. What was going on with her? She sighed, and closed her eyes again. “Sleep, please...” She whispered to herself. “Sleep... tomorrow is Christmas...”
“Brecken! Brecken! Brecken! Wake up! It’s Christmas! It’s CHRISTMAS!” Brecken opened her eyes slowly. And as she did that, she saw Aubryn jumping on her bed in her Cinderella jammies.
“Mm, what?”
“It’s CHRISTMAS!” She exclaimed excitedly, then jumped off the bed, and ran out of the room. “Come ON, Brecken!”
“Okay, okay, jeez..” Brecken said sleepily, rubbing her eyes, and getting out of bed. She slowly followed Aubryn down the stairs to where the tree was, still half asleep. Everything looked normal... Aubryn sat down in front of the tree, and rummaged through all of the presents.
“This one’s for me, and this one’s for me, and this one’s for Mom, and this one’s for me, and this one’s for Brecken...” She said, eyeing the shiny gold wrapping paper. Brecken sighed, and sat down on the couch.
“Hey, Aubryn, do you want some eggnog or something?” She asked, bored already. She didn’t even know what time it was. Aubryn mumbled something that sounded like a yes, so Brecken walked into the kitchen to pour a cup, but when she opened the fridge, the black mist popped out. She screamed, and dropped the cup. Aubryn came rushing into the room.
“Did you break a glass?” She asked, frowning and pointing at the shards on the floor. “You did so! Better go put your slippers on so it doesn’t get stuck in your feet.” She said. “Why did you scream? I heard you scream.”
“You know that mist I was talking about?” Brecken started, skeptical.
“Yeah...” Aubryn frowned again. “What about it...?”
“Well, I opened the fridge and it popped out at me.” She said, trying to catch her breath. Her heart was pounding. “I swear to God...” She said.
“I’m going to get Mom...” Aubryn started, and cautiously walked out of the kitchen. Brecken sighed. She was sorry for scaring her sister, but she had to tell her. Who screams when they open the fridge? CRAZY PEOPLE, that’s who. Brecken was CRAZY. What a great way to start Christmas, hey? She leaned up against the counter and closed her eyes. She heard footsteps.
“Brecken!” She jumped and turned towards the doorway at her mom’s voice.
“Yeah, Mom?”
“What did you tell your sister?”
“I saw the black mist in the fridge.” Said Brecken matter-of-factly. “It popped out at me when I was going to get her some eggnog.”
“Oh.” Said Mom. “Well, clean that glass up, okay? Aubryn and I are going to be in the living room by the tree.” Brecken nodded, and opened the cupboard under the sink to get out the dustpan thingy.
The hot water rained down on Brecken’s back. She tilted her head back and let it roll down her hair and her forehead, her eyes closed. She sighed, pushing her hair back with her hands. She then lifted her head back up and opened her eyes. She was now facing the white tile wall of the shower. She looked up at the ceiling. It seemed like the corners were filled with the dark mist. Like in The Grudge. It wasn’t trying to grab at her, though. It was just there...lingering in the corners. She felt like she couldn’t breathe. She wanted to scream, but decided against it, because well, a) It didn’t look like it was going to hurt her. She saw no claws this time. And, b) She was naked, and wet, in the shower. Yeah, try explaining this one to Mom. ‘Oh, I saw the mist in the ceiling corners! I’m naked, and I’m in the shower!’. Yeah, okay. That didn’t even make any sense. Of course you’d be naked in the shower... Brecken closed her eyes again, trying to block out the image of it. Then she squeezed her hair out, and stepped out of the shower, hastily grabbing the dark green towel on the towel rack. She wrapped herself in it, and paused briefly, looking in the bathroom mirror, before she opened the door and stepped out into the world. She reached out, and wiped the fog off of it with her hand. Her reflection stared back at her. She saw her dark wet hair dripping onto her face, and her yellow-brown eyes blinked. Then she opened the door and left the bathroom.
“Brecken!” She heard her mom calling, when the doorbell rang that night. “Would you get the door, please?” She straightened her red sweater, to go with the red bow she always wore, in the mirror, before leaving the room, and rushing down the stairs.
“Yeah!” Where was Aubryn? She wondered. She should be at the door, too. She peered through the frosted window on the side, before unlocking and opening the door. She put on her best fake smile.
“Hi!” She grinned, revealing her Uncle Lucas, and her cousin Emilice. Emilice was a year older than her, and had blonde hair, a shade darker than Parker’s, but she left it unstraightened, so the waves fell in her face. She had a sort of troubled look to her, the same look you could see in Brecken’s face.
“Hi, Brecken!” Greeted Uncle Lucas. “How are you doing?”
“Good.” She said, smiling again. “My mom’s...in the kitchen, I think.” She said, pausing, unsure of herself. “And Aubryn’s in her room getting ready still. I think she’s trying on all her dresses.” She laughed, and looked up at Emilice, who was only an inch or two taller than her, and still only standing at 5’4. “Hi.” She said.
“Hi.” Emilice said back. She combed her slender fingers through her beach waves.
“Let’s go up to my room, I guess?” Brecken said, in question form, though Emilice didn’t have a choice, as Brecken had grabbed her hand, lightly, and led her up the stairs to her bedroom. She sat down on the bed, and Emilice stood in the doorway, her right arm crossed her chest, holding onto her left upper arm, like those shy kids you see, you know? Her icy blue eyes shifted around the room. She then frowned, her gaze locked in the top right corner.
“What are you looking at?” Brecken asked, and her heart fluttered.
“Nothing.” Emilice said quickly, snapping back to reality. She glanced quickly at Brecken, then looked down at the floor.
“It’s okay.” Said Brecken. “Did you see something in the corner?”
“Yes.” Said Emilice reluctantly. “A mist...”
“Was it black?” Asked Brecken, growing excited, actually. She was delighted she’d found someone who saw things like she did.
“Yes... why?”
“I see it too.” Explained Brecken. “All the time. It started two days ago when I was helping Aubryn decorate the Christmas tree...” She told Emilice the story.
“I’ve been seeing it for years.” Said Emilice. “I’ve tried to hide it, but it’s just so hard. You’d think I’d be used to it by now.” Brecken agreed.
“It’s hard to get used to.” She nodded. “Do you know what it is? Can’t you get help for this sort of thing?” She asked her cousin.
“I didn’t want to tell my dad.” She said. “I don’t want to get sent to the loony bin.”
“I told my mom.” Said Brecken. “I had to. She kept catching me hallucinating. It’s hard to make up excuses when you’re caught screaming when you’re looking in the fridge. It’s not like I’d be that upset over rotten lettuce or something.” Emilice laughed.
“Yeah. I guess you’re right.” She said.
“Now she thinks I’m crazy...but hey, we both see it, so maybe, if we get sent to the loony bin, we can get sent there together.” Emilice nodded.
“I want to go tell my dad now.” She said.
“Wait.” Said Brecken. “After dinner. What if he doesn’t take it well?”
“Okay. Good point. After dinner.”
“Pass the gravy, Brecken.” Aubryn demanded, pointing at the gravy boat. “I want some for my mashed potatoes.”
“How many helpings have you had now, Aubryn?” Brecken pointed out. “Is it, like what, three now?” Aubryn scowled.
“No! Not that many!” Brecken laughed, as did Emilice. Then she grabbed the gravy boat by the handle and passed it to her sister anyways. She took another bite of turkey, then, catching a glimpse of a dark figure in the mirror, she slowly put her fork down, and whispered in her cousin’s ear.
“I see a dark figure in the mirror...” Emilice’s eyes widened. She looked in the mirror too, but she couldn’t see it.
“I don’t.” She said, frowning. “Can you still?”
“No.” Brecken shook her head. “It’s gone now. But when we were in my room, I couldn’t see what you saw in the corner. I don’t think we see things at the same time.”
“Ah.” Emilice nodded her head in understanding. “Okay.”
“Is everyone done?” Mom asked, standing up, and taking Uncle Lucas’s plate. Brecken and Emilice both nodded at the same time.
“Yes.”
“I’m not!” Aubryn protested. “I’m still eating my mashed potatoes!” Mom took her plate anyways, as Aubryn folded her arms and pouted.
“That’s enough, don’t you want dessert?” Aubryn then nodded vigorously.
“Yes, please!”
“Well, you’re excused, go play. We’ll have dessert in half an hour, before presents.” Aubryn jumped out of her chair, not bothering to push it in, and ran up to her room. Uncle Lucas laughed.
“That kid...” He said. “She’s a feisty one.” Mom laughed. Emilice facepalmed.
“Dinner’s over...” Brecken whispered into her ear. “Want to now?” Emilice nodded, swallowing.
“I’ll start.” Said Brecken, giving her an encouraging smile. “Hey, mom?” She started.
“Yes, dear?”
“You know the stuff I’ve been seeing? The black mist?” Her mom scowled, and shushed her.
“Not while company’s here.” She frowned, sighing.
“But Emilice sees it too!” She persisted.
“What?!”Both Mom and Uncle Lucas turned, facing the girls.
“This has to be a joke.” Said Uncle Lucas. “Do you really hallucinate things?” He asked his daughter, Brecken’s cousin. “What sort of things?”
“This weird, translucent, like, black mist thing. It hides in corners and stuff.” She told him. He frowned, and nodded, as if to encourage her. Then he looked at his niece. “And you say you see this ‘black mist’ thing also?” He asked her. She nodded.
“Yes.” She said. “Although it’s not always in corners for me. I’ve seen it come from behind the Christmas tree, and in the fridge, and sometimes I see dark figures randomly. It’s weird.”
“Oh, Brecken...” Her mom groaned. “That’s so messed up.”
“I know.” She agreed. “I wish I knew what was going on here. Emilice told me she’s been seeing it for years.”
“I have.” Emilice spoke again. “Ever since I was Aubryn’s age. Now I’m in 10th grade, and I’m still seeing things that aren’t there.”
“That’s like five years...” Uncle Lucas put his hand on her shoulder. “You need help, sweetheart.”
“I know...” She sighed.
“And you too, Brecken.” He put his other hand on Brecken’s shoulder. “Both of you.” Just then, the doorbell rang.
“Well that’s weird.” Said Mom. “Who’d be ringing the doorbell at this hour? It’s six! We didn’t invite anyone else...”
“I’ll get it!” Came Aubryn’s shrill voice, and she ran down the stairs and opened the door. “It’s Parker!” She yelled, before anyone could even look over in that direction.
“Oh, come in.” Mom motioned for her to enter, and she took off her shoes and jacket.
“Hi!” She greeted, grinning and waving. “I just wanted to check on Brecken. You guys apparently aren’t answering your phone.”
“Oh.” Said Mom. “I didn’t even hear it the whole night.”
“That’s actually really weird...” Brecken pointed out. “Hi, Parker.” She stood up and they embraced for a moment. “You’ve met my cousin Emilice, right?”
“Yep.” Parker nodded. “Hi, Emilice.”
“Hi.” Said Emilice shyly.
“Can we have dessert now that EVERYONE’s here?” Aubryn said, rather overdramatically. Everyone laughed.
“Yeah, sure, why not.” Mom went back into the kitchen, and came out with a large apple pie. She set it on the table, and they all shared it.
Aubryn tore off the shiny wrapping paper of her last present with glee.
“Yes! The new Barbie I wanted! THANK YOU Uncle Lucas!” She dropped it to the ground carelessly, and ran over to hug him in thanks for it. Why she dropped it carelessly, I don’t know. I wouldn’t have.
“You’re quite welcome.” He laughed. Brecken shook her head at her sister, and was toying with the iPod she got. It was red. Something black slithered up from underneath the box on the floor, and shrouded her hand. She blinked, her eyes widening, and she dropped the iPod to the ground.
“Go away.” She told the mist, frowning.
“What’s going on?” Asked Aubryn, tugging on Uncle Lucas’s shirt. Parker stifled back a giggle. “Who’s she telling to go away? Her iPod? That’s weird.”
“No.” Emilice told her. “The black misty stuff. I saw it too, this time.”
“Oh.” Said Aubryn. “That’s even weirder. I don’t like the black mist.”
“And you think I do?” Brecken glared at her sister, picking up her new iPod, and wrapping the headphones around it. She shook her head. “Mom, what are we going to do about this?”
It was midnight now, getting quite late. Parker was sleeping over, apparently, but Emilice had to go home, as her and Uncle Lucas lived an hour away, in the next town over. They were standing at the front door. Mom, Aubryn, and Parker sat on the stairs. Brecken hugged Emilice goodbye.
“What a weird Christmas, hey?” Said Brecken.
“ I know, right?” Emilice agreed, laughing. “Weird Christmas.” They released their embrace, and Brecken waved as Emilice and her father went down the walk. After Brecken turned away to go upstairs with Parker, out of the periphery of her vision, she saw the black mist reach out and follow Emilice into the car.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
The Azure Sky Story/Happy Place
I sat in my desk waiting for the bell to ring. Only 20 more minutes now. I lost it. I watched the people walk by and as I did that, I sighed. I changed the song on my iPod. It was complete anarchy, and they were really loud. Everybody was happy. I stared into space, how many minutes, 15 now? All of a sudden, I felt really dizzy, and I closed my eyes, shaking. I felt myself lurch to a stop, and opened my eyes, breathing a shallow breath.
“Whoa...” I blinked, not believing what I saw. All these scraggly trees in a row, some were tall, some were short. I walked groggily over to one, and ran my hand over the deep brown bark, tracing the intricate texture with my slender fingers, feeling the curlicues seeping into my brain, making me feel lightheaded and euphoric. A wind whispered deep within the forest, and I looked up into the cerulean sky. It was flawless and without clouds. I heard a rustle behind me, and then,
“Hello there, friend.” I turned, my hand still attached to the wondrous tree bark, not wanting the ecstasy-like feeling that I was feeling to leave my body.
“Hi.” I drawled slowly, my mouth dry, while waving my hand like I was describing something large. The being who spoke to me wasn’t very large. Only about my height, give or take an inch, and had highlighter purple hair, which seemed to be glowing with light, and it hung down in straight whisps, down to her hipbones. Her pupils were merely pinpricks in her aquamarine irises.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you.” She said in an airy voice. “I am Cheyenne.” She smiled mystically.
“My name’s Braedyn.” I whispered along with the calming breeze, raising the electric lime leaves.
“I shall show you the way, Braedyn.” She said again, and took my free hand with her delicate fingers, and led me deep into the forest. The canopy shaded us from the warm glowing sun.
“Show me the way to where?” I asked, taking in the setting.
“You know, silly.” She giggled, and it tinkled like Christmas Silver Bells, and it made me smile. I heard singing, a melody so nice, I felt like I would float up through the leaves and into the perfect sky.
“Oh.”
“Come on, this way.” Through another pathway we went, and then I saw a pond, and a waterfall. It looked perfectly perfect, the clean waters were almost-no, were shining with life and energy, and a cat stood there playing the triangle, which I figured was the source of the Christmas bell sound. His fur was pumpkin orange, and looked just as soft as it felt, and I reached out to pet him while Cheyenne dipped her tiny feet in the stream. It made her toes glow with life. The cat smiled at me, a Cheshire Cat grin, and I smiled back, and he pulled out a flask from his burlap sack and dipped it in the water.
“Here, take a sip.” He said, and I took a sip, and immediately the euphoria I got from touching the tree trickled inside of me, only much stronger, and I felt as if I was floating on air. I closed my eyes and lied down on the great green grass. It tickled my back, and I laughed as the cat commenced his triangle playing again, and Cheyenne danced around in the pond, the whimsy waterfall dribbling on her airy white dress. She looked like she was having a wonderful time, and oh! I wanted to join in on the fun. I breathed deep, taking in a lungful of fresh air, and more or less floated to the water and dipped my bare foot inside. I felt a tingling sensation, and it made me laugh in pleasure, but I began to feel dizzy again, and my sight faded. I closed my eyes.
“No, no, no...” Cheyenne just laughed, and the cat’s music faded. I sat down and rocked back and forth. “No, I don’t want to go.” The cat’s grin burned into my mind. I felt a lurching sensation again, the sort of feeling you get when you’re in a moving elevator, and then it stopped. I took a deep breath and opened my eyes, and saw all the people again. No trees, no sky, no Cheyenne. I could remember the triangle tune vaguely and it made me shiver in delight. My toes still tingled. The bell hadn’t rung yet. It looked as if nobody had noticed I was gone. Did I really leave? Where did I go? I blinked and brushed my hand through my blonde hair, as my bangs fell in my eyes. Then the bell rang, stinging my ears and I stood up, nearly falling and lightheaded. I grabbed onto the desk, and walked out of the classroom, and down the locker hallways, barely noticing the people there. They whizzed by. I pushed the heavy door, and stepped outside. I looked up at the sky, only to find it was dull and grey, and not cerulean. I felt my heart drop. Disappointed, I walked over to the nearest tree and touched it, expecting to feel that surge of dizzying happiness. All I felt was bark. Then I walked home, in a trance-like zombie state, and opened the door. My mother greeted me.
“Hey, sweetie.” She smiled. “What did you do today?” I shrugged, remembering Cheyenne, and the tree, and the sky, and the water.
“I went to my happy place.”
“Whoa...” I blinked, not believing what I saw. All these scraggly trees in a row, some were tall, some were short. I walked groggily over to one, and ran my hand over the deep brown bark, tracing the intricate texture with my slender fingers, feeling the curlicues seeping into my brain, making me feel lightheaded and euphoric. A wind whispered deep within the forest, and I looked up into the cerulean sky. It was flawless and without clouds. I heard a rustle behind me, and then,
“Hello there, friend.” I turned, my hand still attached to the wondrous tree bark, not wanting the ecstasy-like feeling that I was feeling to leave my body.
“Hi.” I drawled slowly, my mouth dry, while waving my hand like I was describing something large. The being who spoke to me wasn’t very large. Only about my height, give or take an inch, and had highlighter purple hair, which seemed to be glowing with light, and it hung down in straight whisps, down to her hipbones. Her pupils were merely pinpricks in her aquamarine irises.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you.” She said in an airy voice. “I am Cheyenne.” She smiled mystically.
“My name’s Braedyn.” I whispered along with the calming breeze, raising the electric lime leaves.
“I shall show you the way, Braedyn.” She said again, and took my free hand with her delicate fingers, and led me deep into the forest. The canopy shaded us from the warm glowing sun.
“Show me the way to where?” I asked, taking in the setting.
“You know, silly.” She giggled, and it tinkled like Christmas Silver Bells, and it made me smile. I heard singing, a melody so nice, I felt like I would float up through the leaves and into the perfect sky.
“Oh.”
“Come on, this way.” Through another pathway we went, and then I saw a pond, and a waterfall. It looked perfectly perfect, the clean waters were almost-no, were shining with life and energy, and a cat stood there playing the triangle, which I figured was the source of the Christmas bell sound. His fur was pumpkin orange, and looked just as soft as it felt, and I reached out to pet him while Cheyenne dipped her tiny feet in the stream. It made her toes glow with life. The cat smiled at me, a Cheshire Cat grin, and I smiled back, and he pulled out a flask from his burlap sack and dipped it in the water.
“Here, take a sip.” He said, and I took a sip, and immediately the euphoria I got from touching the tree trickled inside of me, only much stronger, and I felt as if I was floating on air. I closed my eyes and lied down on the great green grass. It tickled my back, and I laughed as the cat commenced his triangle playing again, and Cheyenne danced around in the pond, the whimsy waterfall dribbling on her airy white dress. She looked like she was having a wonderful time, and oh! I wanted to join in on the fun. I breathed deep, taking in a lungful of fresh air, and more or less floated to the water and dipped my bare foot inside. I felt a tingling sensation, and it made me laugh in pleasure, but I began to feel dizzy again, and my sight faded. I closed my eyes.
“No, no, no...” Cheyenne just laughed, and the cat’s music faded. I sat down and rocked back and forth. “No, I don’t want to go.” The cat’s grin burned into my mind. I felt a lurching sensation again, the sort of feeling you get when you’re in a moving elevator, and then it stopped. I took a deep breath and opened my eyes, and saw all the people again. No trees, no sky, no Cheyenne. I could remember the triangle tune vaguely and it made me shiver in delight. My toes still tingled. The bell hadn’t rung yet. It looked as if nobody had noticed I was gone. Did I really leave? Where did I go? I blinked and brushed my hand through my blonde hair, as my bangs fell in my eyes. Then the bell rang, stinging my ears and I stood up, nearly falling and lightheaded. I grabbed onto the desk, and walked out of the classroom, and down the locker hallways, barely noticing the people there. They whizzed by. I pushed the heavy door, and stepped outside. I looked up at the sky, only to find it was dull and grey, and not cerulean. I felt my heart drop. Disappointed, I walked over to the nearest tree and touched it, expecting to feel that surge of dizzying happiness. All I felt was bark. Then I walked home, in a trance-like zombie state, and opened the door. My mother greeted me.
“Hey, sweetie.” She smiled. “What did you do today?” I shrugged, remembering Cheyenne, and the tree, and the sky, and the water.
“I went to my happy place.”
Carter Takes Candy From A Stranger
Carter sat alone. She felt alone, too. She didn’t know what to do. She closed her eyes, and stared into space as the music played. She could feel the floor vibrate. She sighed.
“Hello?” She opened her eyes to a brightly dressed female.
“Yes?”
“I’m Elizabeth, want some kandi?” Carter was confused. Why was this strangely dressed person offering her candy? But yeah, maybe sugar would make her feel better. She wanted to talk to Elizabeth, seeing as she felt very alone.
“Sure. What kind?” She asked, thinking maybe rockets, or sweet tarts, or even five cent candies from the 7-11.
“Green, or red. You choose.” Said Elizabeth. Some of the beads on her bracelets glowed in the blacklight.
“Green.” Said Carter. Thinking maybe it was lime flavour or something. She liked lime. Elizabeth smiled at her, and her hand dug through her sparkly purple My Little Pony purse.
“Good choice.” She said, handing Carter two small green “candies”. Carter took them from her, and looked at them in her own hand.
“I’ve never seen this kind of candy before, what is it?” A weird look crossed Elizabeth’s face, then a sly smile.
“Oh, don’t worry, it’s good.” She said, “It’s okay.” Carter frowned, not sure if she should trust this rainbow girl. “Just swallow it, don’t chew.”
“Okay...” Carter took them both to her mouth, then she looked back up at Elizabeth. “They didn’t taste very good.”
“I like them.” Said Elizabeth, sitting down next to her, and looking into her eyes. Carter looked back. Elizabeth’s pupils were so big, like black holes. You couldn’t even really see what color her iris was unless you looked real close.
“Okay.” She said, again. She was confused. Elizabeth talked like there was no tomorrow, about absolutely nothing. She was all over the place, random, like, she didn’t even know. Time passed by really fast, she guessed, from how much Elizabeth talked. Suddenly, everything started to rush. She felt a bubbly, rising feeling inside her. Like her heart was soaring. Like she heard her favourite song on the radio. Suddenly, she wanted to dance. Suddenly, she felt very happy. She laughed.
“Elizabeth.” She said. “Do you want to dance with me?” Elizabeth had a knowing smile on her face. She laughed also. “Yes, Yes I would.” She said. “Let’s go, take my hand.” Carter grabbed her hand, and led her to the floor, where they danced. Carter danced crazily, she didn’t know why, but it was the most fun she’d ever had in her life, she thought. She could feel the vibrations of the techno music. They went up through her feet, and though her ears, and her eyes even. They pulsated. She could feel it coursing through her body, the music, like a wonderland. She squealed in delight. Elizabeth laughed again. Carter twirled and flailed her hands wildly. She then, got an overwhelming urge to hug Elizabeth.
“Elizabeth, you’re my best friend! I love you!”
“Hahaha, I love you too!” She said. “Do you want some water?” Now that she thought about it, Carter felt very thirsty. She frowned, laughing.
“Yes. Actually. Yes, I’m thirsty. I would like some water very much.” She burst out laughing again. Her heart was beating really fast, like a huuuge sugar rush. She couldn’t stop smiling. She didn’t know what was going on. She liked it a lot, though. And most of all, she LOVED the music. She loved the way it made her feel, the way it vibrated through her feet, everything, she loved it. She felt so unbelievably happy, and she had made a new best friend! Elizabeth was her new best friend! She hummed along to the song, and she grabbed Elizabeth’s hand and skipped towards the bar place. Elizabeth handed her a bottle of water, and she drank, half of it, it seems, in just one sip. “I LOVE water!” She exclaimed. “It is just SO refreshing! Hey, but.. now I have to pee. Wanna go to the bathroom with me? Where is it even? Come show me!”
“Come with me.” Said Elizabeth, and Carter took her hand. When they got to the bathroom, Carter was distracted by the mirror.
“Hey, my eyes... the pupils are really big, they look really pretty.” She said, looking closely at them in the mirror. She blinked, then she turned towards Elizabeth who was sitting on the counter. She still felt excited. “Hey Elizabethy, look at my eyes? Aren’t they pretty?” Elizabeth looked.
“Yes, yes they are.” She said.
“Okay, I have to pee now.” Said Carter, so she did, and then they went back on the dance floor. They danced for a long time. Both of them felt really good, like a sugar rush, like fantastic, like WOWmazing, but then it started wearing off. Carter felt restless. She didn’t want to dance anymore. She didn’t feel super excited anymore. She wanted to sit down. “Hey Elizabeth.” She said, frowning. “Um, I think my sugar high’s gone.”
“Oh.” Said Elizabeth. “Me too. Do you want to go sit down?”
“Yeah.” Said Carter. So they went and sat down. “What just happened...?”
“I gave you kandi.” Said Elizabeth. “Wonderful, awesome kandi....”
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Shut Your Mouth
nov.06.09.
Yeah.
I've been listening to every word you said,
They've been runnin' through my head all night
Everything you said to me, just keeps me up,
Keeps me thinkin' 'bout you.
Makes me want to watch those pretty lips keep talkin'
Sometimes I just wanna kiss you to shut you up
Because sometimes, you just talk too much.
Just shut up, look into my eyes
I just want you for tonight, maybe more
Just stop talkin' and we'll see, kiss my lips
And I'll take you away for tonight, if that's okay with you
If that's okay with you.
You've been runnin' your mouth all night
And as much as I want you to keep talking,
I can't stop thinking of your words,
I can't stop thinking about you,
Why won't you stay out of my dreams?
Sometimes I just wanna kiss you to shut you up,
Because sometimes, you just talk too much,
Just shut up, look into my eyes,
I just want you for tonight, maybe more,
Just stop talkin' and we'll see, kiss my lips,
And I'll take you away for tonight, if that's okay with you,
If that's okay with you.
And I'll take you away for tonight, if that's okay,
If that's okay with you,
So what are you waiting for?
What are you waiting for?
Keep talking, just so I can shut you up.
What are you waiting for?
Yeah.
I've been listening to every word you said,
They've been runnin' through my head all night
Everything you said to me, just keeps me up,
Keeps me thinkin' 'bout you.
Makes me want to watch those pretty lips keep talkin'
Sometimes I just wanna kiss you to shut you up
Because sometimes, you just talk too much.
Just shut up, look into my eyes
I just want you for tonight, maybe more
Just stop talkin' and we'll see, kiss my lips
And I'll take you away for tonight, if that's okay with you
If that's okay with you.
You've been runnin' your mouth all night
And as much as I want you to keep talking,
I can't stop thinking of your words,
I can't stop thinking about you,
Why won't you stay out of my dreams?
Sometimes I just wanna kiss you to shut you up,
Because sometimes, you just talk too much,
Just shut up, look into my eyes,
I just want you for tonight, maybe more,
Just stop talkin' and we'll see, kiss my lips,
And I'll take you away for tonight, if that's okay with you,
If that's okay with you.
And I'll take you away for tonight, if that's okay,
If that's okay with you,
So what are you waiting for?
What are you waiting for?
Keep talking, just so I can shut you up.
What are you waiting for?
What Are You Waiting For (Mind Games)
November 6, 2009.
The scars on her wrists tell you what's been going on
What's been going on, yeah
You can see it in her eyes, if she'll let you
If she'll let you get that close
You can tell by the way she looks at you,
That there's more to her than what she lets on.
Just wait 'till you finally see what you've been waiting for.
YOU'LL HAVE TO CATCH HER, 'CAUSE SHE'S RUNNIN'
RUNNIN' AWAY FROM YOU, JUST TO SEE HOW FAR YOU'LL GO
YOU BETTER CATCH HER IF YOU CAN, 'CAUSE SHE WON'T WAIT FOREVER
WON'T WAIT FOR YOU TO WANT HER MORE
She can tell you've been longing for her,
She can see it in your eyes.
The way you move, the way you touch,
When the time is right, you can't deny,
You want her bad, and that little tease knows it,
So what are you waiting for?
YOU'LL HAVE TO CATCH HER, 'CAUSE SHE'S RUNNIN'
RUNNIN' AWAY FROM YOU, JUST TO SEE HOW FAR YOU'LL GO
YOU BETTER CATCH HER IF YOU CAN, 'CAUSE SHE WON'T WAIT FOREVER
WON'T WAIT FOR YOU TO WANT HER MORE
YOU'LL HAVE TO CATCH HER, 'CAUSE SHE'S RUNNIN'
RUNNIN' AWAY FROM YOU, HOW FAR WILL YOU GO?
YOU BETTER CATCH HER WHILE YOU CAN,
'CAUSE SHE'S NOT WAITING,
YEAH, SHE CAN'T WAIT FOREVER
You can see it in her eyes, she wants you all to herself,
And if you wait too long, you're gonna miss out,
Yeah, it's your loss,
And you'll be missing out.
The scars on her wrists tell you what's been going on
What's been going on, yeah
You can see it in her eyes, if she'll let you
If she'll let you get that close
You can tell by the way she looks at you,
That there's more to her than what she lets on.
Just wait 'till you finally see what you've been waiting for.
YOU'LL HAVE TO CATCH HER, 'CAUSE SHE'S RUNNIN'
RUNNIN' AWAY FROM YOU, JUST TO SEE HOW FAR YOU'LL GO
YOU BETTER CATCH HER IF YOU CAN, 'CAUSE SHE WON'T WAIT FOREVER
WON'T WAIT FOR YOU TO WANT HER MORE
She can tell you've been longing for her,
She can see it in your eyes.
The way you move, the way you touch,
When the time is right, you can't deny,
You want her bad, and that little tease knows it,
So what are you waiting for?
YOU'LL HAVE TO CATCH HER, 'CAUSE SHE'S RUNNIN'
RUNNIN' AWAY FROM YOU, JUST TO SEE HOW FAR YOU'LL GO
YOU BETTER CATCH HER IF YOU CAN, 'CAUSE SHE WON'T WAIT FOREVER
WON'T WAIT FOR YOU TO WANT HER MORE
YOU'LL HAVE TO CATCH HER, 'CAUSE SHE'S RUNNIN'
RUNNIN' AWAY FROM YOU, HOW FAR WILL YOU GO?
YOU BETTER CATCH HER WHILE YOU CAN,
'CAUSE SHE'S NOT WAITING,
YEAH, SHE CAN'T WAIT FOREVER
You can see it in her eyes, she wants you all to herself,
And if you wait too long, you're gonna miss out,
Yeah, it's your loss,
And you'll be missing out.
I AM LISTENING TO HANNAH MONTANA (nov 06 09)
It started out that way
In cool Autumn, midday
She sat on the grass amidst the trees,
Just starting up at the clouds.
They seemed to go on forever,
Just like her thoughts...
"I guess you don't need me."
She said, as she closed her eyes.
He just stood and stared,
Yeah, he just stood and stared.
Then he walked away.
In cool Autumn, midday
She sat on the grass amidst the trees,
Just starting up at the clouds.
They seemed to go on forever,
Just like her thoughts...
"I guess you don't need me."
She said, as she closed her eyes.
He just stood and stared,
Yeah, he just stood and stared.
Then he walked away.
Friday, November 6, 2009
False Lies: A Condradiction (April Tenth 2009)
My eyes bleed crystal tears, shimmering with false hope.
My heart longs for more, and my mind misses you so.
Shining eyes, and false lies..
Who knows why she cries?
Isn't "false lies" contradicting itself...?
My heart longs for more, and my mind misses you so.
Shining eyes, and false lies..
Who knows why she cries?
Isn't "false lies" contradicting itself...?
Medley And Ikea. (April 2008)
I really don't remember writing this. At all. I don't know if me, or Felicia did. But. WTF LOL.
This is an epic adventure.
Medley was walking down the street when she met a lady. The lady asked her what she wanted to be when she grew up, and if she would please, buy this magic herb, fifty pense apiece.
Medley was stunned at this offer, and simply said, simply put, that she did not know what she wanted to do with her life, and paid for the magic herb, although she did not know what the hell it was.
She continued walking her way, and the mysterious lady continued walking hers.
Ikea was Medley's friend. Ikea was hood, so hood, infact, that she often just walked the streets saying, "I'm soooo hood." That's a song, also. I've never even heard it. So anyways, Ikea was walking the streets, opposite the way of Medley, from her house, and soon they'll meet. They'll meet again, they will. I'm diggin' that beat. Ikea, alas, runs into some trouble.
"Dayumm, whatchu cookin??" Alonso stops her in the street, poised for battle, and possibly buttsecks.
"I'm sooo hood," Utters Ikea, and pulls out her shiny red switchblade. "LET'S BRAWL." Alonso, frightened by this uncanny act of terror, stands still, stunned.
"Oh," He says, and walks away, and Ikea continues on her merry way, not paying attention, and laughing at the word 'Spool'.
Then BAM. She runs right into Medley.
"O hay, just lurkin'." Says Medley.
"Ahh," Says Ikea. "I didn't see you. I just got into another brawl with Alonso, when well he ever learn?"
"Yes, when." Comments Medley.
"What's that you got there?" Ikea motions to the magic herb, still fresh in Medley's hand.
"What's what I got where?"
"That, in your hand. What it be?"
"Oh, it be." A grin spread across Medley's face. Ikea looked confused. 'A lady, back down that way. Sold it to me for a special deal of ten squid. Pip pip, cheerio. "
"Oh..." Said Ikea. "That sounds suspicious. But still, you never told me what it is."
"I don't know, really. Quite really, it's a magic herb, she said, she did."
"A magic herb, you say?" Ikea questions. "And what do you do with this so called, 'magic herb,' ?"
"Don't know, I do." Medley answers, half-assededly, half-mindedly, and staring into the sun. "Why I bought it, I don't even know."
"We should go on an epic adventure to NexopiaLand and ask the great Cream if he's got the answer we are loooking for, to find out what this Magic herb you've got is.." Ikea suggests, cocking her head in a Collie-dog sort of way. A dumbed down version of Lassie.
"Yes, indeed. Splendid idea my dear collegue!" Medley's eyes, wide open like a saucer in anticipation of this newly suggested suggestion.
"Well, let us go now, shall we?"
"We shall."
And so the epic adventure begins.
This is an epic adventure.
Medley was walking down the street when she met a lady. The lady asked her what she wanted to be when she grew up, and if she would please, buy this magic herb, fifty pense apiece.
Medley was stunned at this offer, and simply said, simply put, that she did not know what she wanted to do with her life, and paid for the magic herb, although she did not know what the hell it was.
She continued walking her way, and the mysterious lady continued walking hers.
Ikea was Medley's friend. Ikea was hood, so hood, infact, that she often just walked the streets saying, "I'm soooo hood." That's a song, also. I've never even heard it. So anyways, Ikea was walking the streets, opposite the way of Medley, from her house, and soon they'll meet. They'll meet again, they will. I'm diggin' that beat. Ikea, alas, runs into some trouble.
"Dayumm, whatchu cookin??" Alonso stops her in the street, poised for battle, and possibly buttsecks.
"I'm sooo hood," Utters Ikea, and pulls out her shiny red switchblade. "LET'S BRAWL." Alonso, frightened by this uncanny act of terror, stands still, stunned.
"Oh," He says, and walks away, and Ikea continues on her merry way, not paying attention, and laughing at the word 'Spool'.
Then BAM. She runs right into Medley.
"O hay, just lurkin'." Says Medley.
"Ahh," Says Ikea. "I didn't see you. I just got into another brawl with Alonso, when well he ever learn?"
"Yes, when." Comments Medley.
"What's that you got there?" Ikea motions to the magic herb, still fresh in Medley's hand.
"What's what I got where?"
"That, in your hand. What it be?"
"Oh, it be." A grin spread across Medley's face. Ikea looked confused. 'A lady, back down that way. Sold it to me for a special deal of ten squid. Pip pip, cheerio. "
"Oh..." Said Ikea. "That sounds suspicious. But still, you never told me what it is."
"I don't know, really. Quite really, it's a magic herb, she said, she did."
"A magic herb, you say?" Ikea questions. "And what do you do with this so called, 'magic herb,' ?"
"Don't know, I do." Medley answers, half-assededly, half-mindedly, and staring into the sun. "Why I bought it, I don't even know."
"We should go on an epic adventure to NexopiaLand and ask the great Cream if he's got the answer we are loooking for, to find out what this Magic herb you've got is.." Ikea suggests, cocking her head in a Collie-dog sort of way. A dumbed down version of Lassie.
"Yes, indeed. Splendid idea my dear collegue!" Medley's eyes, wide open like a saucer in anticipation of this newly suggested suggestion.
"Well, let us go now, shall we?"
"We shall."
And so the epic adventure begins.
Can't, Won't. (March 6, 2008)
Can't answer, don't answer.
Hot, cold, I don't know.
Burning up, slowing down.
Can't make a sound.
Closing my eyes,
Everything blurs,
The sounds are distorted,
There's nothing you can do,
But hold me.
Hot, cold, I don't know.
Burning up, slowing down.
Can't make a sound.
Closing my eyes,
Everything blurs,
The sounds are distorted,
There's nothing you can do,
But hold me.
I Wrote This LOL (Jan 22, 2008)
Let me hold you.
And I promise,
We'll never be far away,
Separated by the dark starry sky.
We lie apart wishing.
Our hearts beat together,
Faster, slower, faster,
Take a breath, open your eyes..
I'm right in front of you.
Just let me hold you,
And our hearts will beat as one,
Together.
And I promise,
We'll never be far away,
Separated by the dark starry sky.
We lie apart wishing.
Our hearts beat together,
Faster, slower, faster,
Take a breath, open your eyes..
I'm right in front of you.
Just let me hold you,
And our hearts will beat as one,
Together.
Math Test (Jan,16 2008)
I did it for the lulz.
I'm sh-sh-shakin' BIC pencil #2 0.5mm Catastrophe pink neon rawr footsteps steer clear of Texas I hope Mac is okay heart beating faster short of breath SLAM Nolan's foot paper bangs = dead. algebraic functions of amoebas thoughtsrunningtogether TO GET HER together forever & ever, babe, stringing sentences word for word rehearsing lines that i've never heard silence now but who's to blame? it's all the same It's all coming back to me now [ LOL CUMBACK.]
Cèline Dion. LOLWUT?
How could I forget you, Nights so cold, memories lost, mouth open, eyes shut no one's at fault but ourselves I can't remember when I last felt so empty. My thoughts are only strung together by letters and words not one making sense, stumbling over one another like a wasted drunken mess, typing, walking down snowy dark roads in blistering shoes you shouldn't've worn in the first place, I say. Climbing up on the bridge, make you think, Feel the rush. Crush, please don't jump. So I don't, want to frighten you, I say, Cold wind blows stumble home fall in arms asleep, Nowhere else to go but you. Don't you know who I think I am?
Envy and defeat brush up against you and whisper in your ear eyes of the enemy are not tranquil and results could end catastrophic, your head and heart demolished into 3.14x10 pieces of defeat. Heartbeat Heartbeat nothing left can't stay time running out until we see the afternoon sky.
I'm sh-sh-shakin' BIC pencil #2 0.5mm Catastrophe pink neon rawr footsteps steer clear of Texas I hope Mac is okay heart beating faster short of breath SLAM Nolan's foot paper bangs = dead. algebraic functions of amoebas thoughtsrunningtogether TO GET HER together forever & ever, babe, stringing sentences word for word rehearsing lines that i've never heard silence now but who's to blame? it's all the same It's all coming back to me now [ LOL CUMBACK.]
Cèline Dion. LOLWUT?
How could I forget you, Nights so cold, memories lost, mouth open, eyes shut no one's at fault but ourselves I can't remember when I last felt so empty. My thoughts are only strung together by letters and words not one making sense, stumbling over one another like a wasted drunken mess, typing, walking down snowy dark roads in blistering shoes you shouldn't've worn in the first place, I say. Climbing up on the bridge, make you think, Feel the rush. Crush, please don't jump. So I don't, want to frighten you, I say, Cold wind blows stumble home fall in arms asleep, Nowhere else to go but you. Don't you know who I think I am?
Envy and defeat brush up against you and whisper in your ear eyes of the enemy are not tranquil and results could end catastrophic, your head and heart demolished into 3.14x10 pieces of defeat. Heartbeat Heartbeat nothing left can't stay time running out until we see the afternoon sky.
???? (Christmas 2007)
She's nothing special.
She's worthless.
She doesn't care what happens to her.
Or anything about life at all.
And that scares here.
And she cares about everyone around her.
She just doesn't know of any way of showing it.
That she's comfortable with.
And she can't change that no matter how hard she tries.
And they just don't get that.
And they push her and push her.
And she's breaking.
And the only person she truly loves is him.
She doesn't want to grow up.
And she has to.
And that scares her more than anything.
And she wishes it would all just stop.
And she could be in his arms .
And with him.
Forever.
She's worthless.
She doesn't care what happens to her.
Or anything about life at all.
And that scares here.
And she cares about everyone around her.
She just doesn't know of any way of showing it.
That she's comfortable with.
And she can't change that no matter how hard she tries.
And they just don't get that.
And they push her and push her.
And she's breaking.
And the only person she truly loves is him.
She doesn't want to grow up.
And she has to.
And that scares her more than anything.
And she wishes it would all just stop.
And she could be in his arms .
And with him.
Forever.
Nothing Makes Sense Anymore (dec.11.07)
So take my hand,
And we'll make it.
I swear.
I should have just trusted you from the beginning.
It's not my fault that I have my doubts sometimes.
It's just sometimes you act a little differently,
And it scares me and it makes me think,
Maybe I'm doing something wrong, here.
I always assume I'm at fault for everything.
Because that's the way it's always been.
I can't help thinking that way,
Because most of the time,
I am usually the one to blame.
And I know you love me, baby.
And I love you too.
The feelings I have for you are stronger than any feelings I've ever had before.
And I can't deny that.
And all I want is for you to feel the same way about me.
And I just need to be reassured.
I put so much trust in you,
And I don't want it broken.
When you cry.
I die a little inside.
And I can't take it.
I just can't see you like that.
And I care so much about you.
And we'll make it.
I swear.
I should have just trusted you from the beginning.
It's not my fault that I have my doubts sometimes.
It's just sometimes you act a little differently,
And it scares me and it makes me think,
Maybe I'm doing something wrong, here.
I always assume I'm at fault for everything.
Because that's the way it's always been.
I can't help thinking that way,
Because most of the time,
I am usually the one to blame.
And I know you love me, baby.
And I love you too.
The feelings I have for you are stronger than any feelings I've ever had before.
And I can't deny that.
And all I want is for you to feel the same way about me.
And I just need to be reassured.
I put so much trust in you,
And I don't want it broken.
When you cry.
I die a little inside.
And I can't take it.
I just can't see you like that.
And I care so much about you.
I Think I'm Going To... (nov.27.07)
I think I don't know what to think.
I feel numb.
Blurry.
My eyes close and I can feel it.
Pulsing.
Living.
Inside of me.
The hunger for you grows.
I take a deep breath
As my heart beats faster,
And I open my eyes.
And to my suprise...
You're still not here.
All this wishing,
Hoping.
Waiting.
Has all gone down the drain.
Sinking back into my heart.
And I'm back to feeling
Numb.
Blurry.
Alone.
I feel numb.
Blurry.
My eyes close and I can feel it.
Pulsing.
Living.
Inside of me.
The hunger for you grows.
I take a deep breath
As my heart beats faster,
And I open my eyes.
And to my suprise...
You're still not here.
All this wishing,
Hoping.
Waiting.
Has all gone down the drain.
Sinking back into my heart.
And I'm back to feeling
Numb.
Blurry.
Alone.
Sometimes (nov.16.07)
Sometimes..
The things that used to make you happy
Don't work
Anymore.
Sometimes,
If you have too much of something.
You keep having to take stronger doses
To get higher and higher.
And then you.
Crash.
The things that used to make you happy
Don't work
Anymore.
Sometimes,
If you have too much of something.
You keep having to take stronger doses
To get higher and higher.
And then you.
Crash.
Sunrise (Nov. 10/07)
Never-ending nights,
And days that seem to pass us by in a blur.
Way too far for now.
But way to late.
What are we going to do,
When it all ends?
What's going to happen when the night ends
And the sun comes up,
In it's peachy-keen color.
Will we say hello,
Or will we say goodbye?
And days that seem to pass us by in a blur.
Way too far for now.
But way to late.
What are we going to do,
When it all ends?
What's going to happen when the night ends
And the sun comes up,
In it's peachy-keen color.
Will we say hello,
Or will we say goodbye?
RAINBOW ( lol grade 5 )
I look pretty in pink
Beautiful in blue
So many colors,
I just don't know what to do.
I look gorgeous in green,
Outrageous in orange.
I see the colors of the rainbow.
I look good in a rainbow.
Beautiful in blue
So many colors,
I just don't know what to do.
I look gorgeous in green,
Outrageous in orange.
I see the colors of the rainbow.
I look good in a rainbow.
Line? (November 10, 2007)
Rehearsing the lines that I'll never need,
To a script only written in my head.
I'll say those words, if you do.
But I can't admit to it.
To a script only written in my head.
I'll say those words, if you do.
But I can't admit to it.
THE LEVEL 27 MELON (2003/4)
By Kari and Ash.
There once was a melon
Who was wearing Level 27
That melon was hopeless
Because his clothes were soapless
Then he met a fig
That was wearing a wig
That resembled the hair of Paul
Whom he met at the mall
Whilst eating Chris
Whom we shall never miss
Then they bought a rat
And tried on a hat
That hat was a bi
Don't you wanna know why?
Because that hat met Cone
And his cousin Ramone
That hat killed them all
With a guy named Jamal
And that is why we all shall die
Have a nice day
(And if you're wondering, Jamal ran off with the fig.)
There once was a melon
Who was wearing Level 27
That melon was hopeless
Because his clothes were soapless
Then he met a fig
That was wearing a wig
That resembled the hair of Paul
Whom he met at the mall
Whilst eating Chris
Whom we shall never miss
Then they bought a rat
And tried on a hat
That hat was a bi
Don't you wanna know why?
Because that hat met Cone
And his cousin Ramone
That hat killed them all
With a guy named Jamal
And that is why we all shall die
Have a nice day
(And if you're wondering, Jamal ran off with the fig.)
Fading Night (2003)
As i stare into the dark sky,
Thoughts pass me by,
Stars, twinkling like a handful of glitter
I wonder if you ever think of me
So many days have passed
I knew it wouldn't last
Like the stars fade away
When dawn comes, then day
Darkness fades into night.
Just like love fades into hate
Thoughts pass me by,
Stars, twinkling like a handful of glitter
I wonder if you ever think of me
So many days have passed
I knew it wouldn't last
Like the stars fade away
When dawn comes, then day
Darkness fades into night.
Just like love fades into hate
Trapped (2003)
Tears fall down my cheeks,
Sobs escape my mouth,
The sun is shining through the window,
But I cannot see it,
For my life is full of hate and disappointment,
The house feels like a jail,
From which I cannot escape.
I try too, constantly,
But I cannot escape, I must not,
But I can't help rebelling against the rules
once in a while.
No one can.
But why is it that we must get into trouble when we do?
Why is it that we must suffer,
When we try to do our best?
Why?
More tears fall as I ponder this,
So many questions asked, but no one's answering, for they
ask me more than I ask them.
They interrogate me,
Try to change me,
as if I'm a convict, a creep.
But I am not. I am a human being.
We all are.
I'm sorry, I can't be perfect.
No one can.
Everyone has their flaws,
Some, more than others.
The light fades, the hate overcomes me.
The darkness prevails, never leaving.
I am trapped.
Sobs escape my mouth,
The sun is shining through the window,
But I cannot see it,
For my life is full of hate and disappointment,
The house feels like a jail,
From which I cannot escape.
I try too, constantly,
But I cannot escape, I must not,
But I can't help rebelling against the rules
once in a while.
No one can.
But why is it that we must get into trouble when we do?
Why is it that we must suffer,
When we try to do our best?
Why?
More tears fall as I ponder this,
So many questions asked, but no one's answering, for they
ask me more than I ask them.
They interrogate me,
Try to change me,
as if I'm a convict, a creep.
But I am not. I am a human being.
We all are.
I'm sorry, I can't be perfect.
No one can.
Everyone has their flaws,
Some, more than others.
The light fades, the hate overcomes me.
The darkness prevails, never leaving.
I am trapped.
Afraid (2003)
I was afraid.
Afraid for you, afraid for me.
Afraid of disappearing into
the darkness, slipping into a deep sleep,
The light, fading, fading, fading
Until there's nothing more than a
tiny spec, so small that you can't even
tell it's there. That's how I feel.
Like that tiny spec of light,
Nearly extinct, unseen.
I am afraid, still, of being smaller,
dying. I am afraid of dying out.
Afraid for you, afraid for me.
Afraid of disappearing into
the darkness, slipping into a deep sleep,
The light, fading, fading, fading
Until there's nothing more than a
tiny spec, so small that you can't even
tell it's there. That's how I feel.
Like that tiny spec of light,
Nearly extinct, unseen.
I am afraid, still, of being smaller,
dying. I am afraid of dying out.
Fading (2003)
Do I really exist, or am I a fragment of your mind?
A pigment of the future, a glimpse into the past,
Ever changing, disappearing, unnoticed,
Lost, trapped, caught in between worlds,
As far as the eye can see, I am nothing.
No one, In my place, there is nothing there,
Nothing but air. In my place is a vast emptiness,
Ever existing, me, never existing, never born,
I am a ghost to the world, just a mere image in your mind,
Ever searching, ever looking, I am lost
Nobody can see me, I'm fading into pure nothingness,
Fading until there's nothing left.
Fading, fading, fading,
Until the fragment in the back of your mind is gone.
A pigment of the future, a glimpse into the past,
Ever changing, disappearing, unnoticed,
Lost, trapped, caught in between worlds,
As far as the eye can see, I am nothing.
No one, In my place, there is nothing there,
Nothing but air. In my place is a vast emptiness,
Ever existing, me, never existing, never born,
I am a ghost to the world, just a mere image in your mind,
Ever searching, ever looking, I am lost
Nobody can see me, I'm fading into pure nothingness,
Fading until there's nothing left.
Fading, fading, fading,
Until the fragment in the back of your mind is gone.
"First Cut"
hahahahafsfdgfdgdgfd.
Jesus, fuck, what was I thinking when I wrote this ?!
^_^
The darkness envelopes the room,
I feel alone, dizzy, unsure,
The razor burns a hole in my shaking hand.
Should I? Shouldn't I? Should I? Shouldn't I?
My breath is unsteady, my heart skips a beat.
Inhale, exhale.
The razorblade connects with my wrist.
I wince in pain and feel the cool trickle of blood drip down my arm.
I hold my breathe and squeeze my eyes shut.
I did it, I did it.
Jesus, fuck, what was I thinking when I wrote this ?!
^_^
The darkness envelopes the room,
I feel alone, dizzy, unsure,
The razor burns a hole in my shaking hand.
Should I? Shouldn't I? Should I? Shouldn't I?
My breath is unsteady, my heart skips a beat.
Inhale, exhale.
The razorblade connects with my wrist.
I wince in pain and feel the cool trickle of blood drip down my arm.
I hold my breathe and squeeze my eyes shut.
I did it, I did it.
"Love Evergone" 2003/2004 idk
It's been a while since I've smiled,
It's been a while since my eyes have lit up in happiness,
It's been a while since I've seen you.
Where have you gone?
You make me feel so strong.
Now, as the tears fall from my eyes,
Knowing you're not here,
I hear the geese call,
And feel the crisp Autumn breeze,
The TV blaring downstairs,
But I sit alone in my room and cry,
I wonder why...
I've felt this way for far too long,
I don't think I'll ever know the feeling of
joy again, but I think of you and all the bad feelings leave my body,
Leaving only love, then hate,
Remembering that you left.
Come back, please come back.
I cannot live without you!
You were the love of my life,
The beauty in my eyes when there was only beast,
I curl up on my bed,
Your picture in my hand.
Sleeping, dreaming 'till dawn,
It's a brand new day,
But I know your love for me has been forgotten.
Your love is evergone.
It's been a while since my eyes have lit up in happiness,
It's been a while since I've seen you.
Where have you gone?
You make me feel so strong.
Now, as the tears fall from my eyes,
Knowing you're not here,
I hear the geese call,
And feel the crisp Autumn breeze,
The TV blaring downstairs,
But I sit alone in my room and cry,
I wonder why...
I've felt this way for far too long,
I don't think I'll ever know the feeling of
joy again, but I think of you and all the bad feelings leave my body,
Leaving only love, then hate,
Remembering that you left.
Come back, please come back.
I cannot live without you!
You were the love of my life,
The beauty in my eyes when there was only beast,
I curl up on my bed,
Your picture in my hand.
Sleeping, dreaming 'till dawn,
It's a brand new day,
But I know your love for me has been forgotten.
Your love is evergone.
As I Walk (idk what year, 2004?)
I hear the laughter,
It takes over the small room
I hear the sarcasm,
Overflowing, the love, the hate.
The wind blowing through the window,
I feel the chill.
As I walk down the path,
The rain falls down,
As I walk down the path,
Thoughts run through my head,
As I walk.
I hear the gleeful shrieks,
Of good times in the past,
The chilling screams of the bad,
Playing again and again in my brain,
Like a cheap rerun soap opera,
As I walk down the path
It takes over the small room
I hear the sarcasm,
Overflowing, the love, the hate.
The wind blowing through the window,
I feel the chill.
As I walk down the path,
The rain falls down,
As I walk down the path,
Thoughts run through my head,
As I walk.
I hear the gleeful shrieks,
Of good times in the past,
The chilling screams of the bad,
Playing again and again in my brain,
Like a cheap rerun soap opera,
As I walk down the path
I Don't Know What To Say Here (2005)
I may or may not have put this already, but I haven't seen it.
I can't hear a word you're saying.
You're screaming at me as if
I'm some insignificant creature.
But the words just pass through me.
I don't know what I've done wront anyways.
I know I don't belong,
You don't have to tell me that.
'Cos you're a fake.
Why are you playing these games?
You can't win.
They'll find out eventually.
Then what would you do,
When they know you're a liar?
I can't hear a word you're saying.
You're screaming at me as if
I'm some insignificant creature.
But the words just pass through me.
I don't know what I've done wront anyways.
I know I don't belong,
You don't have to tell me that.
'Cos you're a fake.
Why are you playing these games?
You can't win.
They'll find out eventually.
Then what would you do,
When they know you're a liar?
Follow The Rainbow
When you look in the mirror,
And your eyes are just black holes,
You turn around, and everything's not what it seems,
You turn on the TV and it's like you're swimming in the scenes.
Do you know what it's like to feel insane?
Do you know what it's like when colors sing to you,
And you forget your own name?
Come with me, and follow the rainbow to temporary insanity.
When the trees sprout hands, and the grass starts to move,
And you feel like you're trapped, and everything starts to blur.
When you look in the mirror, and you don't look like yourself,
And you think you're someone else.
-Chorus-
Do you know what it's like to feel insane?
Come with me, and take a trip into temporary insanity.
And your eyes are just black holes,
You turn around, and everything's not what it seems,
You turn on the TV and it's like you're swimming in the scenes.
Do you know what it's like to feel insane?
Do you know what it's like when colors sing to you,
And you forget your own name?
Come with me, and follow the rainbow to temporary insanity.
When the trees sprout hands, and the grass starts to move,
And you feel like you're trapped, and everything starts to blur.
When you look in the mirror, and you don't look like yourself,
And you think you're someone else.
-Chorus-
Do you know what it's like to feel insane?
Come with me, and take a trip into temporary insanity.
Take Me Home
"Hello," He said as he sat down next to me,
A quiet scream inside my head, I said,
"Hey," right back, and stared on straight ahead.
Then the lights blurred,
And soon enough my speech was slurred,
And he said, "Can I take you home tonight?"
It's like I fell down, his arms around me,
I'm wasted, I can still taste it,
I don't know what's going on.
I looked straight on ahead,
And then the lights blurred,
I'm hypnotized by them.
And I fell down,
The room was spinning 'round,
And he took my hand,
And he took me home tonight.
A quiet scream inside my head, I said,
"Hey," right back, and stared on straight ahead.
Then the lights blurred,
And soon enough my speech was slurred,
And he said, "Can I take you home tonight?"
It's like I fell down, his arms around me,
I'm wasted, I can still taste it,
I don't know what's going on.
I looked straight on ahead,
And then the lights blurred,
I'm hypnotized by them.
And I fell down,
The room was spinning 'round,
And he took my hand,
And he took me home tonight.
Friday, August 7, 2009
Hey Kyle, I miss you Lots :(
I don't know what it is, but I always
have to make lists. It's like OCD or something.
I don't know why I'm writing this. I fail at life.
I need to sleep. Everything I'm wearing right
now is Hello Kitty. I applied for jobs today.
I'm anxious/scared out of my mind.
I need to get my learners. It's getting
cold outside already, and I'm sad. It's
getting cold real fast. There's someone
on my mind. I had a dream about doing
ecstasy this morning and I started shaking
and my stomach hurt. Does that mean I'm
addicted to ecstasy? I need to do it again.
I guess that's why I dream about it.
Holy monsters, I am fucked in the head.
And Jesus, I MISS YOU. :( It's definitely
my PMS/Paranoia but (I'm worried about you.)
I hate myself. I hate the way I think.
I remember once you said "Never sing to me."
That hurt. It's been forever since I've seen you.
July 24th I think. It's August 6th. I am going
crazy. Completely insane. (But I'm dealing.)
I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I'm not perfect.
have to make lists. It's like OCD or something.
I don't know why I'm writing this. I fail at life.
I need to sleep. Everything I'm wearing right
now is Hello Kitty. I applied for jobs today.
I'm anxious/scared out of my mind.
I need to get my learners. It's getting
cold outside already, and I'm sad. It's
getting cold real fast. There's someone
on my mind. I had a dream about doing
ecstasy this morning and I started shaking
and my stomach hurt. Does that mean I'm
addicted to ecstasy? I need to do it again.
I guess that's why I dream about it.
Holy monsters, I am fucked in the head.
And Jesus, I MISS YOU. :( It's definitely
my PMS/Paranoia but (I'm worried about you.)
I hate myself. I hate the way I think.
I remember once you said "Never sing to me."
That hurt. It's been forever since I've seen you.
July 24th I think. It's August 6th. I am going
crazy. Completely insane. (But I'm dealing.)
I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I'm not perfect.
-Me.
Monday, August 3, 2009
Broken Heart (2009)
I'm sorry it had to end this way.
Today,
Just didn't work out.
The way you wanted.
And,
Never ever again.
Like, you poured your heart out to me.
And I shut it down.
I threw it against the wall,
and it shattered into a million pieces.
Then I stomped on it.
Yeah.
Well.
You deserved it.
Creep.
Today,
Just didn't work out.
The way you wanted.
And,
Never ever again.
Like, you poured your heart out to me.
And I shut it down.
I threw it against the wall,
and it shattered into a million pieces.
Then I stomped on it.
Yeah.
Well.
You deserved it.
Creep.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Catastrophically In Love With You (2007)
My words are not fictitious.
My touch makes you shiver.
You are my only.
My one and only.
Your voice is in my head.
At all times.
And your picture in my mind.
Your eyes...
They don't haunt me,
But rather make me smile.
You're gorgeous.
I'm a mess.
I'm a fuck-up.
I'm a disaster.
I'm a catastrophe.
But I'm catastrophically in love with you.
My touch makes you shiver.
You are my only.
My one and only.
Your voice is in my head.
At all times.
And your picture in my mind.
Your eyes...
They don't haunt me,
But rather make me smile.
You're gorgeous.
I'm a mess.
I'm a fuck-up.
I'm a disaster.
I'm a catastrophe.
But I'm catastrophically in love with you.
Reality (2007)
What's done is done.
What happens when you can't say what you feel,
And you can't feel what you really feel?
What happens when you fake smiles to get you through the day?
No worries.
No feelings.
Just a catastrophe waiting to happen.
It's complete anarchy between the thoughts in your head.
And the nights grow shorter, and your days longer,
And soon you're living in a fake reality.
Nothing seems real anymore.
You're hardly alive.
You're not real.
You're fictitious.
What happens when you can't say what you feel,
And you can't feel what you really feel?
What happens when you fake smiles to get you through the day?
No worries.
No feelings.
Just a catastrophe waiting to happen.
It's complete anarchy between the thoughts in your head.
And the nights grow shorter, and your days longer,
And soon you're living in a fake reality.
Nothing seems real anymore.
You're hardly alive.
You're not real.
You're fictitious.
Only Reason (2007)
Now I'm feeling dizzy.
And I can't breathe.
The lights are fading, pulsating.
I'm shaking-
Could it be, you're my
Only reason for waking?
And I can't breathe.
The lights are fading, pulsating.
I'm shaking-
Could it be, you're my
Only reason for waking?
Sugar (2007)
Sugar is...
Some say sugar makes me happy.
If I call you sugar it means you're sweet.
It means I like you.
You must be pretty special if I've ever called you sugar.
Just one taste of it and I'm set.
It doesn't take much.
It'll bring me up when I'm down.
Like a drug.
Like an addiction.
I hate to say it, but I'm addicted to sugar.
My sugar.
Any sugar.
It doesn't help my problems.
No, it doesn't even start to help.
It doesn't save me from the troubles lurking in the back of my mind...
Sugar.
It's just false hope.
Some say sugar makes me happy.
If I call you sugar it means you're sweet.
It means I like you.
You must be pretty special if I've ever called you sugar.
Just one taste of it and I'm set.
It doesn't take much.
It'll bring me up when I'm down.
Like a drug.
Like an addiction.
I hate to say it, but I'm addicted to sugar.
My sugar.
Any sugar.
It doesn't help my problems.
No, it doesn't even start to help.
It doesn't save me from the troubles lurking in the back of my mind...
Sugar.
It's just false hope.
Fake (2006)
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.
I try to stop, but I can't help myself.
I can't comprehend what I want to be...
Who, I want to be.
Is it always so hard?
Why can't we ever find what we're looking for?
Everybody's fake.
There's nobody real left.
Or very few...
But when your life is at stake.
What would you do...
When they know you're a liar?
Alone (2007)
Sometimes...
I feel left out.
I feel alone.
I feel unwanted.
Sometimes,
Nobody wants to hear my voice.
What did I do wrong?
I feel left out.
I feel alone.
I feel unwanted.
Sometimes,
Nobody wants to hear my voice.
What did I do wrong?
Goodbye, For A Night (2007)
What lurks behind us?
I'm not going to look back.
There's nothing there, I swear.
Stay sweet, my dear.
'Till the morning comes.
'Till the sunshine's up.
The nighttime's over,
When I finally breathe my last sigh.
This last whisper in your ear.
"It's all the same..."
This last night's over.
The sun lurks behind the trees.
Don't look back, it's over.
I won't leave if you won't.
Your sweetness envelopes the truth.
The truth that we must say our goodbyes.
And we'll be on our way.
I'm not going to look back.
There's nothing there, I swear.
Stay sweet, my dear.
'Till the morning comes.
'Till the sunshine's up.
The nighttime's over,
When I finally breathe my last sigh.
This last whisper in your ear.
"It's all the same..."
This last night's over.
The sun lurks behind the trees.
Don't look back, it's over.
I won't leave if you won't.
Your sweetness envelopes the truth.
The truth that we must say our goodbyes.
And we'll be on our way.
Broken Promises (2007)
I say your name in silence
Into the cold night air.
I don't dare let you hear it-
It might break a promise.
I open my eyes and make a
Silent wish.
A silent wish that won't come true.
I can't let you hear me.
But it's not like you ever did.
Broken promises are your thing.
Sweetheart, close your eyes.
And I'll wish for you.
The abyss of the night closes in.
Until I'm numb from the dark.
My whisper breaking the silence.
Are you back for more?
Did my wish come true?
No, no, no, no.
'Cause broken promises are your thing.
Into the cold night air.
I don't dare let you hear it-
It might break a promise.
I open my eyes and make a
Silent wish.
A silent wish that won't come true.
I can't let you hear me.
But it's not like you ever did.
Broken promises are your thing.
Sweetheart, close your eyes.
And I'll wish for you.
The abyss of the night closes in.
Until I'm numb from the dark.
My whisper breaking the silence.
Are you back for more?
Did my wish come true?
No, no, no, no.
'Cause broken promises are your thing.
Insomniac Baby (July 30th, 2009)
If it's your fault that I can't sleep, I must be dreaming,
you're inside of my head again,
If we continue on this way, I'll never get to sleep.
As of late, I'm an insomniac, about to have a heart attack
Since you've been comin' round.
But I don't let that bother me,
'Cause i like you a lot.
They say sleep is for the weak
So I guess you make me strong.
You can't want to spend every last moment with
Someone if you haven't actually spent a
moment (in person) with them.
Why are you always on my mind???
you're inside of my head again,
If we continue on this way, I'll never get to sleep.
As of late, I'm an insomniac, about to have a heart attack
Since you've been comin' round.
But I don't let that bother me,
'Cause i like you a lot.
They say sleep is for the weak
So I guess you make me strong.
You can't want to spend every last moment with
Someone if you haven't actually spent a
moment (in person) with them.
Why are you always on my mind???
Hearts go bang with a flash.
It's six AM and I haven't even closed my eyes.
I don't know what to do anymore,
When I get stuck I think of you.
I keep thinking, do you think of me to?
I don't know what to do anymore,
When I get stuck I think of you.
I keep thinking, do you think of me to?
I Want To Get Out. (May 21, 2009)
Listening to the same song over and over again
makes me feel better.
I need the song started over
your crying made me miss my
favorite part.
I feel the smooth skin slightly brush against
the backside of my arm. I need the song
started over, your crying made me miss my
favorite part. (your eyes are greener)
I hear the exclamation point. Do do do do...
Lay back, the song is almost over. I try to
hear you out, but I dozed off. I need the
song started over, your crying made me
miss my favorite part. (your eyes are meaner)
Rachael, it's times like these I wonder. Do do do do...
makes me feel better.
I need the song started over
your crying made me miss my
favorite part.
I feel the smooth skin slightly brush against
the backside of my arm. I need the song
started over, your crying made me miss my
favorite part. (your eyes are greener)
I hear the exclamation point. Do do do do...
Lay back, the song is almost over. I try to
hear you out, but I dozed off. I need the
song started over, your crying made me
miss my favorite part. (your eyes are meaner)
Rachael, it's times like these I wonder. Do do do do...
Plays pretty for baby.
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